


The Magical Adventures of Jake & Gina

by DontOffendTheBees



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Boarding School, Boggarts, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Growing Up Together, High School, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Multi, Quidditch, Slow Burn, Teen Romance, i tried and therefore no one can judge me, my approximate knowledge of harry potter rears its head
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3981733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontOffendTheBees/pseuds/DontOffendTheBees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Turns out Gina was right about being a special snowflake- and turns out she's not alone. Jake and Gina begin their first year at Hogwarts.</p><p>B99 Hogwarts AU starting in first year and hopefully going all the way through seven, featuring eventual Peraltiago and Rosa x Gina (Dinetti? Rina? Idk), other side pairings may come and go.</p><p>(ON HIATUS)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Hat Shouting Nonsense Is No Basis For A System Of Government

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all!
> 
> So, those of you who follow me have probably realised I've been in a bit of a creative rut lately (apologies again to those still waiting for a Broken Masks update). I swear I'm doing what I can to get out of it but it's hard when it feels like smacking your head into a wall repeatedly would be easier and less painful than writing.
> 
> But I had a little spark of inspiration a couple of days ago with my Hogwarts headcanons (http://lilyenrenn.tumblr.com/post/119444729932/) for the Brooklyn Nine-Nine characters, so I went ahead and rolled with it and got this little thing out! It's a bit rushed, probably could use some editing and only scratches the surface but hey, it's better than nothing! (Also my HP knowledge is nowhere near as in-depth as many people's so I apologies for any mistakes)
> 
> First B99 fic attempt so please be nice! Enjoy!

"Quit it, Jake," Gina scowled across the cabin at her boisterous best friend. "You're giving me motion sickness."

"Sorry," he grinned, not sounding sorry in the slightest. He slowed his fidgeting, but refused to stop altogether. "Are we there yet?" he asked for the fiftieth time, peering out the window at the rolling English countryside. All he knew about this place was that it was somewhere in Scotland, but other than that everyone was awfully cagey with the details.

Gina threw a chocolate frog wrapper at his head. "Knock it off."

"Come on, Gina, aren't you excited?" he said, eyes glinting. "I mean, this is  _crazy,_ how are you not freaking out right now?"

"'Course I'm excited, look," she pointed at her excited face.

Jake remained unimpressed. "That's not your real excited face, that's 'Bewonderment'- you used it on three gifts last Christmas."

She groaned. " _Girl_ , we've been on this darn train for two hours, no way I'm holding an excited face that long. I'm saving it for an audience."

"Still not a girl," he smiled, but he couldn't stay mad at her. She was practically his sister, and he was grateful beyond words that they were doing this together.

It had been three months since they got the letters. The last thing either of them had expected was for a couple of owls to tap on his nana's window when they were having a slumber party, but the old lady hadn't been surprised in the slightest. She'd explained everything- magic and muggles and all the wonders that awaited them at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Technically they should have received letters on their birthdays from one of the more local magical schools, but nana had been working behind the scenes to get them both into her old school in Britain, convinced that it was the best place they could go for a magical education. Not that either of them had any complaints- they'd miss New York, but they'd always talked about going on adventures together, it had just happened sooner than they'd anticipated.

He turned his head at the sound of a quiet knock on their compartment door, and came face to face with another first year. She had big brown eyes and shiny hair, and a slightly annoyed expression.

"Hey," she said, sounding frustrated. "You mind if I sit in here? I need to avoid someone."

"Sure," Jake said, perking up at her accent. "America?"

"Yeah," she smiled, sitting oddly rigidly in the empty seat beside Gina. "New York, Queens. You?"

"Brooklyn," he said, gesturing between himself and Gina. "I thought we were the only ones."

"Not a chance- over the last five years Hogwarts has had one of the best rates of foreign exchange student acceptance in the northern hemisphere," she said, face brightening as she rolled facts off her tongue like she was reading from a teleprompter.

Jake stared at her blankly. "Ooooo-kay," he said. "Good for us. Sherbet Lemon?"

She cheerfully took one, and thankfully was too polite to continue talking with her mouth full. Gina glanced up from her phone to look at Jake, one pencil-thin eyebrow raised. She mouthed the word 'nerd' with a smirk, and he gave her his best disapproving face.

The new girl watched some of their silent exchange with confusion, but obviously decided it'd be best not to ask. "I'm Amy," she said when her mouth was free, holding out her hand for a weirdly formal handshake. "Amy Santiago."

"Jake Peralta," he said, wiping his hand on his jeans before accepting (although if her wince was anything to go by it was still sticky from all the candy he'd been eating). "This is Gina."

"'Sup," Gina said disinterestedly, not looking up from her phone.

"So, Amy Santiago," Jake grinned, trying to make up for his friend's lack of enthusiasm. "What brings you to our neck of the woods?"

"My brothers," she grimaced, fiddling with the sleeve of her robes (which she'd already put on- eager, much?). "They like to give me a hard time. It's my first year and they won't let me forget it. At least I only have to deal with three of them."

" _Only_ three?" Jake asked, eyes wide. "How many do you have?"

"Seven," she said, wincing. "And no sisters."

"Yikes," Jake said sympathetically. Even Gina took a moment to shoot her a pitying glance.

"What about you two?" Amy asked, looking between them. "Any other siblings?"

" _Ew!_ " Jake and Gina exclaimed in unison, before looking offended at each other's outbursts.

"We're not related," Jake explained to a confused Amy, snorting. "She's just my annoying neighbour-slash-friend-slash-spiritual guide. I'm an only child."

"Same," Gina said, still tapping away on her phone. "After my mother gave birth she realised I would only outshine any other kid she had."

"Oh," Amy said, looking embarrassed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed- you kind of look alike, so I thought…"

"Why? Is it my nose?" Jake said accusingly. "Racist!"

Amy's eyes went wide as saucers. "What? No! All I meant was, uh…"

He laughed at her horrified expression. "Kidding, kidding! Lighten up, Santiago!"

She wasn't amused. "Maybe I should've just stayed with my brothers…" she muttered.

* * *

Jake's excitement grew with every click of wheels on the rails, and when the train slowed to halt he was out of his seat and through the door before Gina could even look up from her phone.

She found him outside, gazing in awe at the sky. "Gina!" he grinned, catching her arm and pointing up. "Look how many stars there are out here!"

Her face melted back into something like 'Bewonderment', only more sincere. Growing up in the city, starry nights were few and far between. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Jake look so happy about anything, and it was difficult not to be swept up in his good mood.

Amy had joined them, following Jake's gaze with a beam of her own. "It's beautiful…"

A sharp whistle drew their attention, and they and the rest of the shuffling crowd of students turned to the source, who turned out to be one of the most beautiful men Gina had ever seen. He was tall, built, with dark skin and a very un-magical clipboard, and he was calling out for first years.

"That's our cue!" Jake grinned, bounding up to the man and dragging Gina along with him, leaving Amy to follow in their wake. He quickly rattled off all of their names, and the enormous man crossed them off his list with a pen as muggle-ish as the clipboard.

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" the man smiled, ticking off the other first years as they approached. "I'm Professor Jeffords, flying instructor and head of Hufflepuff house. Now I want everyone to stick close, don't wander off- believe me, you do  _not_ wanna end up in the forest alone at night. Right, is that everyone? Alright, kids, follow me!"

"With pleasure," Gina cooed, gaze flickering appreciatively over the professor's retreating back. Jake rolled his eyes, but he was pretty used to her by now. She pretty much flirted with every male in existence. Well, except for him, of course.

The small crowd of first years followed the professor with varying degrees of eagerness while the rest of the students departed in the opposite direction (on carriages that appeared to be pulling themselves, but she'd ask about that later). Gina and Jake practically skipped side by side, nerves and excitement battling for dominance with every further step into the unknown. Amy shuffled along beside them, obviously not keen to lose sight of the only people she knew besides her brothers.

Amy, as Jake and Gina had learned, was what they called a 'pure blood'- meaning both her parents and probably all of her ancestors had been magical. Gina wasn't sure why that really mattered to anyone around here- was it a magical world thing or just a British thing? She made a mental note to look it up later, as soon as she found some way to get wi-fi. So far she'd had no choice but to play Cwazy Cupcakes offline like some kind of peasant.

There was a collective gasp as they reached the lake, and the castle that housed Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry loomed large against the night sky, the warm lights from its many windows glittering on the water. Even Jake was momentarily stunned into stillness by the beauty of it, not that it lasted- as soon as Professor Jeffords gave the word he was off like a shot, snatching a boat and waving Gina and Amy over with a colossal beam across his face.

The girls hopped in after him, and noticed with confusion that there were no oars. "How are we supposed to-?" Jake began.

"Hey."

They looked up to find a girl with long black hair and a face set like stone staring down at them, her arms crossed. "Move," she said bluntly.

Gina looked around, and realised that all the other boats were full. Amy hurriedly hopped up and sat in the seat next to Jake to make room, obviously scared to incur the strange girl's wrath. Gina liked her already.

"Hi," she smiled, holding out her hand as the new girl slipped into the boat. "Gina Linetti, the pleasure's all yours."

The girl stared hard at her hand but made no move to shake it. "Diaz," she said.

Gina didn't have time to ask if there was another name that went with that before the boat lurched forward, seemingly of its own volition.

"Noice!" Jake grinned, leaning over and letting his fingers trail over the surface of the water.

"Hands in the boat!" Professor Jeffords called from his vessel just ahead of them. "You'll disturb the kraken."

Jake snatched his hand back as if it had been burned, smiling sheepishly at the amused teacher and then turning back to his friends.

" _Sooooo,_ krakens," he said, enthusiasm unaffected. "Only pet I ever had was a goldfish."

"You didn't bring one?" Amy asked, clearly trying to distract herself from the rocking motions of the boat that were turning her face a sickly shade of green.

"Nah," he said as Gina shook her head. "Had to scrape together everything we had just for school supplies," he pouted. "I wanted an owl."

"You can use mine if you want to send letters home," Amy offered, smiling weakly as the boat continued to jostle her. "Well, technically it's my brother's owl- I don't get my own until next year, and that's only if I do well on my exams. But he lets me use it, so…"

"Thanks, Ames," Jake beamed. "How you holding up there?"

"Not good," she whimpered, bracing her elbows on her knees. "And don't call me Ames."

"Fartmonster, it is," he said brightly.

"You're facing the wrong way."

They all turned in surprise to look at Diaz, who hadn't spoken a word up until that moment. "What?" Amy asked, bewildered.

"You're facing the wrong way," the girl repeated, shrugging. "Motion sickness is worse if have your back to the front of the boat. You need to face forward, keep your eyes on one point."

When Amy remained seated, Diaz rolled her eyes and stood up, causing the boat to rock alarmingly. Amy barely had time to squeak in complaint before the girl had her out of her seat and deposited back in her old place. She herself flopped into the now vacant seat beside Jake, crossing her arms and once again falling into silence.

Amy blinked slowly a few times, straightening her back, and staring ahead at the castle as it drew closer. "Huh, that actually feels better… thanks."

Diaz shrugged. "Stupid design for a boat anyway. If they're gonna waste their time giving us a pretty view they should make sure everyone in the boat can see it. Idiots."

Gina grinned. "You're my new best friend."

Diaz glared. But she didn't actually say no, so…

* * *

The majority of the walk up to the castle was spent chatting excitedly amongst themselves. Diaz still wasn't speaking, but she was sticking close, which Jake took to mean that she liked them.

It felt like being in a movie, or one of those weird romantic fantasy novels Gina read all the time, only five hundred times cooler. And technically he'd only been on the grounds for twenty minutes and he already had two new friends, which must have been some kind of record for him- for some reason the other kids on the block back home didn't like him all that much. All he really had was Gina, but this year he was determined to change that. Besides, she was a social butterfly, so he'd probably start hanging out with her friends by default. One way or another it would all work out. He would make this work, he'd make new friends, he'd get good grades and he'd make his mom proud. Maybe if he got himself together his dad would even come back, and it could be like it was four years ago before everything started falling apart. It was a long shot, but he was willing to take it.

They traipsed through the grounds and finally into the castle itself, their footsteps echoing on the stone floors. Eventually Professor Jeffords stopped in front of some enormous doors, raising his hand and signalling that they should do the same.

"Alright, kids, listen up," he called, loud enough for everyone to hear. "When we go in there you'll each take turns with the sorting hat, and you'll be sorted into one of four houses- Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Once you're all sorted and the feast is done, the prefects will show you to your dorms, where your belongings will be waiting. Any questions?"

No one raised their hand. Possibly because that was all pretty self-explanatory, possible because Professor Jeffords was a literal behemoth and no one had worked up the nerve to speak to him directly yet. Either way he nodded approvingly and turned to the doors, opening them with a single motion of his powerful arms.

Jake didn't know where to look first. The enormous tables and hundreds of students watching their entrance, the grand gilded podium at the head of the hall, the cool faces of the distinguished teachers at the table behind it. In the end, though, his eyes and those of the rest of the first years were drawn to the ceiling, which appeared to be an opening into the sky. Stars glittered down at them, barely a cloud to be seen, and beneath the glow of those stars shone the light of a thousand candles, seemingly suspended in mid-air.

"It's an enchantment," Amy said delightedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "It's been there for hundreds of years. Isn't it amazing?"

"I don't get it," Diaz said flatly. "Why build an inside if you're gonna make it look like the outside?"

"There's two kinds of people," Jake chuckled, never taking his eyes off the spectacle above them.

"Welcome, students," a booming voice came from the end of the hall, and Jake looked to see the man at the centre of the staff table stand up from his seat. Though he was slightly smaller than Professor Jeffords, he was no less impressive. He was, however, decidedly less welcoming in demeanour- his face barely moved as he spoke, his voice and movements carefully controlled.

"My name is Raymond Holt, Headmaster of Hogwarts School," he introduced himself in the same flat tone. "Shortly, I will make announcements and welcome you all properly, however, I think it would be best that you were all seated. Therefore, we will commence with the sorting ceremony. Professor Jeffords."

Professor Jeffords took a few steps closer to the podium, and Jake noticed an oddly bland little wooden stool perched on the raised floor right in front of it. On top of the stool sat a beat-up old hat that looked like something from his elementary school drama department, which Jeffords picked up and held aloft by the tip before turning his attention to his clipboard, calling out the first name on his list.

"I know where I'm going," Amy said smugly, nodding towards the table on the far left. "All my brothers are Gryffindor, so were my parents, it's like a family tradition."

"Is that good?" he asked, completely oblivious to what actually set the houses apart.

"Yeah!" she said, grinning. "It's only the best house in the world! All the best wizards come from Gryffindor, that's what my aunt told me. Just like all the worst ones come from Slytherin."

"That seems kind of unfair," Jake frowned, glancing at the Slytherin table. They looked like perfectly normal kids to him.

"All the most evil wizards in history were sorted into Slytherin," she said in a stage whisper as the first kid walked up and Jeffords sent them an admonishing look for their chatter. "I mean, that doesn't mean everyone who gets sorted into it is bad, but… well, it gets you off to kind of a bad start."

As the nervous kid with the misfortune of having 'Aaronson' for a surname walked up and took his seat on the stool, Jeffords lowered the scruffy old hat onto his head, holding it in place so it wouldn't fall right down over the eleven year-old's face.

Jake gaped as the hat rustled, and an enormous fold that looked like a mouth opened and bellowed: "Ravenclaw!"

Jeffords raised the hat off the kid's head as the hall applauded, the loudest applause coming from a table on their right. The kid scampered over to the waiting table, taking the seat offered to him by a fellow student and gratefully hiding himself away from all the attention.

" _Dude,_ that's so  _weird,"_ Jake grinned, excitement bubbling up again. "How does it talk? And how does it know where to put you?"

"I'll lend you 'Hogwarts: A History'," Amy said, applauding with the rest as the next kid was sorted into Hufflepuff.

"Oh, is that a movie?" Jake asked.

"What? No, it's a book."

"Oh. Okay, never mind," he said, disappointed.

Jeffords made his way steadily through the names on the list. Some were sorted almost immediately, other's took a few minutes. Diaz (whose first name turned out to be Rosa) spent about ten minutes apparently having a silent argument with the hat before it finally conceded and declared her a Gryffindor. Gina was on the stool for about a minute before the hat sent her to Ravenclaw. When it came to Jake's turn the cloth barely brushed his ears before the hat's voice boomed in his ear.

"Gryffindor!"

He grinned and loped over, waving at Gina as he passed her table and flopping down onto the bench next to Rosa. He was happy to find that the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables were next to each other so all he had to do was stretch across the gap to high five Gina, which he did with gusto.

"Amy Santiago!" professor Jeffords called.

Jake watched Amy advance confidently, already certain of her fate. She sat primly on the stool with her head held high as Jeffords lowered the hat onto it.

After thirty seconds, there was no sound from the hat.

After a minute, Amy was starting to look worried.

A further three minutes passed with not a sound to be heard, and then finally the hat made its declaration.

"Slytherin!"

To say Amy looked shell-shocked would be an understatement.

Jeffords had to say her name three times before she moved, and when she rose and walked her movements were stiff and robotic. One of the other newly sorted kids shuffled along to make room for her, and she planted herself and stared numbly forward as the sorting ceremony continued.

Jake stared at her from across the hall, concerned. It didn't help that he could hear a couple of burly latino students on his table whispering to each other, and he didn't need to be a detective to work out those were her brothers.

There were going to be some interesting Santiago family dinners in the future.

* * *

"Hey."

Amy looked up to the soft voice to find Jake looking down at her worriedly, Rosa standing resolutely at his side. Amy hurriedly wiped her eyes and stood up, brushing dust off her robes. "Hey," she replied, trying not to let her voice crack.

"Uh," Jake said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just wanted to check on you. You okay?"

"Yeah," she said unconvincingly, wrapping her arms around herself. "Breaking four generations of family tradition and wondering how many of the horrible stories I've heard about my new house are true, but, y'know… I'm dealing."

She'd just stepped out of the great hall to get some air- she probably wasn't supposed to be doing that on her own but, well, she wasn't exactly in the mind set for rules right now. Just another sign that she was losing it. She hadn't thought anyone would notice if she was gone for a few minutes. Obviously she'd thought wrong.

He winced. "Yeah, 'bout that, uh…" he was obviously trying to come up with something comforting to say. She didn't think it would help but she appreciated the effort- not even her own brothers had tried to do that yet. "You know it doesn't matter, right? Like, in the long run, no one's gonna care what house you were in at high school. I mean, I guess I was kind of hoping we'd be in the same house so we could hang out more but we'll still have some classes and stuff, y'know, it's not like we'll never talk or anything."

She smiled weakly. "Thanks, Jake," she sighed, leaning back against the wall. "I just… this wasn't the plan."

"Well…" he shrugged, leaning next to her. "You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men…"

She glanced at him. "Surprised you even know that quote- why're you staring at me like that?"

"No, I mean I'm literally asking, do you know what they say?" he clarified, looking bewildered. "I've never heard anyone complete the sentence."

She laughed, the sound startling to her own ears. Honestly she was a little surprised how quickly he'd managed to coax a laugh out of her when she felt like her world was collapsing around her ears, but she saw his happy grin and realised that was his intention all along. Behind his back Rosa nodded approvingly, which was probably as close to a smile as she was ever going to get, and wandered back to the great hall and the waiting feast, leaving them alone in the empty hallway.

Amy smiled as her laughter trailed off, fiddling with the sleeves of her robes self-consciously. "Thanks," she said quietly. "Y'know, for checking on me."

He grinned. "Anytime, Fartmonster."

She rolled her eyes. "You know what, you can just go back to Ames."

"Done," he said, nodding as he turned to head back into the great hall, but pausing with his hand on the door. "Hey, Ames?"

"Yeah?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"I was talking to Rosa in there- she knows quite a lot about this place, think one of her parents used to work here. Or it might have been an aunt, or a dog, I dunno I can't get a read on her. But she was telling me some stuff."

"Like what?"

He smiled at her. "What d'you think of the headmaster?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Seems professional. Confident. I've only heard him talk once, Jake. What's this got to do with anything?"

Jake grinned. "He was a Slytherin, too."

And with that, he was gone.

* * *

"Santiago!" a sing-song voice called from behind her.

She rolled her eyes and slowed down so Jake could catch up, cuddling her books to her chest as he bounded to her side, Rosa following at a much calmer pace. "Morning, Peralta."

"So, first day," he grinned, his ratty second-hand books clutched under his arm. "Excited?"

"Little nervous," she said honestly. She glanced at her schedule and smiled. "Looks like we have first period together."

"Yep," he said, waving at Gina as they passed her in the hallway before she sauntered off to Charms with the gaggle of followers she'd somehow acquired in the last twelve hours. "Transfiguration- hey, d'you think they'll teach us how to transfigure  _ourselves?_ We could be a superhero crime-fighting duo," he glanced at Rosa's blank expression. "Trio," he corrected himself, but she didn't seem bothered either way.

"I don't think that's on the first-year curriculum," she smiled. "I think we'll probably just be doing water into wine, stuff like that."

"Oh," he said, sounding slightly disappointed. But then an idea occurred to him, and his eyes glinted with mischief. "How about a bet?"

She raised her eyebrow. "A bet?"

"Yeah," he said. "I bet you my dessert tonight that I get the spell right first. What d'you say, you feeling lucky?"

Oh, as if she could let him give her that smug smirk without knocking him down a peg.

She smiled, holding out her hand for another sticky Peralta handshake. "You're on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it wasn't too stilted and awful xD
> 
> I may or may not continue this, depends on how much inspiration I get really (you may have noticed there was no Boyle but that's because I think he's in the year above, so he'll definitely be introduced if I continue, plus there'll obviously be more Terry and Holt), but if you'd like to see more please do drop me a comment! Hopefully if I do continue I'll be able to get the characterisations down a bit better with practice. There will also be many more Jake/Gina capers (they're besties and this fic has yet to earn the title I gave it), some Jake/Amy romance (I'm Peraltiago trash, sue me) and maaaaaaaaybe some Gina/Rosa, but idk some feedback about that might be helpful, think I've set it up a little in this chapter but it could go either way.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D x


	2. Fist-Fights & Flying Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> Amazingly quick update coming from me, but don't expect it to last. Still in a bit of a weird place creativity wise but I'll add to this when I can, so if you don't wanna be left hanging you may wanna just bookmark this fic and read it when it's all finished (you know in like five years or something xD) Anyone who does wanna go agonisignly slow, chapter-by-chapter with me, I would definitely appreciate feedback if you've got it!  
> Bit more year one stuff here- it was supposed to be a collection of fun stuff but I got a little caught up in father/son Holt & Jake feels. Bit quick and not terribly well-checked but hopefully readable!  
> Enjoy!

**Three Weeks Later**

“ _Et, voila_!” Gina sang, presenting the phone with a flourish.

“Aw, sweet!” Jake grinned, taking back his crappy old phone and beaming at the full two bars in the corner. It still wasn’t perfect and the screen crackled, but they’d learned in the short time they’d been studying that magic and technology did not coexist well together. “How did you do it?”

She shrugged, brimming with false modesty. “Oh, you know, just hit it with a bit of my magic. Turns out I’m a natural- _shocker,_ I know.”

He raised his eyebrow, and she was forced to amend her tale. “Well, and a few of my brainy sisters helped me out- turns out every single one of them is my intellectual soulmate.”

He chuckled, noting the absence of wi-fi- obviously she hadn’t cracked that puzzle quite yet. “So guess all’s good in the nerd tower?”

“They’re wonderful, thank you- how’s things in the gorilla pen?” she retorted, dazzling Ravenclaw wit leaping to her assistance.

“Oh, you know, the usual,” he said calmly, not rising to the insult. “Dragging our knuckles, scratching our butts, picking lice out of each other’s hair. It’s pretty cosy.”

The two of them were sat across from each other at the Gryffindor table, sharing a colossal platter of pancakes. Turned out breakfasts at Hogwarts weren’t as regimented as the big feasts, so everyone could pretty much sit where they liked so long as they didn’t cause trouble (which so far, fingers crossed, Jake had managed to avoid doing). They’d been attending classes for three weeks so far, and had a few of their own friends, but they still made a point of sitting together for breakfast every morning. It felt familiar, like a little taste of home amidst all the crazy.

“Mister Peralta.”

Jake spun around, swiftly hiding the phone behind his back. “Principle Holt, hey!”

“I prefer Headmaster Holt, if you please, Mister Peralta,” the stone-faced man stated. “While we are visitors in this country it seems only right to respect the vernacular. Might I ask what has you two so entertained this morning?”

“Uhh,” Jake fumbled, sneakily handing the phone off to Gina under the table. “Nothing. Just, y’know, chatting. Just banter between friends.”

“Indeed,” Holt said, face unmoving. “I would just like to remind you both of our school’s policy on muggle technology- while we cannot ban such devices from the grounds altogether we can request that such activities be kept to the dorms. I trust I don’t need to refresh your memory on that little rule?”

“No, sir, you do not,” Jake said with his phoniest smile and an even phonier laugh. “We have both _thoroughly_ read the student handbook, right Gina?”

“It moved me to tears,” Gina said dramatically with a serious nod.

“Good,” Holt said flatly, raising his wrist to glance at his watch (which looked awfully muggle-ish. What a hypocrite). “Now, I believe you both have classes to get to?”

“Yes, sir,” they chimed in unison, standing up and gathering their books as Holt strode away. Jake waited until his back was turned to stick his tongue out at it.

“Man,” he huffed, swinging his legs across the table to join Gina on the other side. “How can someone who runs a _magic school_ for a living be so…?”

“Handsome?” Gina offered with a smirk, elbowing him. “Charismatic? Dashing?”

“ _Boring.”_ he finished, giving her a withering look. “Guessing no one told the factory that built him about the ‘no technology’ rule.”

“Ooooh, _snap,”_ she crowed, raising her hand for a high-five.

“What’re you guys talking about?”

They nearly jumped out of their skin. Rosa Diaz had a knack for appearing out of nowhere.

“Oh, you know,” Jake laughed. “Holt the robot headmaster- we should all pitch in and buy him a personality chip for Christmas.”

Rosa frowned (well, she was frowning already but it grew a little more pronounced). “I like Holt.”

“So do I, he’s the best,” Jake hastily backpedalled, knowing first-hand how scary a pissed-off Rosa could be. “Love that guy.”

“Love, love, love,” Gina agreed, nodding a little too enthusiastically.

Rosa glowered at them. “Y’know, you should learn to stand by your insults- people’ll start thinking you’re pushovers,” she stated, nodding sharply towards the next junction in the corridor. “Peralta, flying.”

“Right, yeah,” he nodded as she brushed past them. He grimaced apologetically at Gina. “Better not keep her waiting- see you at lunch?”

“Yeah, boo- don’t die!” she called out cheerily, waving as she made her way to Charms.

“Will try!” he grinned, hurrying after Rosa. Flying was her favourite class- it wouldn’t do to make her late for it.

* * *

 

“All I’m saying is we should have seatbelts or _something.”_

Jake nodded vaguely, but he was a little preoccupied with trying not to fall on his butt while Boyle chattered on.

The Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs always had flying class together, and Charles Boyle had pretty much latched onto him straight away. He was a second year, who was sitting in for remedial lessons with the permission of Professor Jeffords- technically only first years were supposed to have flying lessons, but Jeffords had made an exception for Boyle. Jake reckoned he had a soft spot for the kid who could barely get his broom off the ground. Not that Jake was doing much better at the moment.

“What’s the matter, Peralta?” a snide voice called out. “Exceeded the weight limit?”

The comment was followed by a chorus of laughter from across the pitch, and Jake clenched his jaw.

“Knock it off, Boone!” Boyle immediately leapt to his defence, shouting across at his housemate. “You’re one to talk about weight limits!”

“Your face!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Jake snapped, losing his balance in his frustration.

“Hey, you!”

They all jumped guiltily at Professor Jeffords voice. Even though he usually had the temperament of a teddy bear, the flying instructor was a fearsome sight to behold when he was angry. The mountainous man had his arms crossed over his chest and his best interrogation face on. “What the hel- _heck’s_ goin’ on here?”

“He started it!” three voices exclaimed, two fingers pointing to Boone and one each to Jake and Charles (Boone had decided to get both hands on the job).

“I don’t care who started it!” Jeffords said firmly, glaring between all three of them. “You kids could be great wizards one day, and that starts with knowing when to pick your battles. We all have to get along here, so no more fights, okay?”

The three boys grumbled their assent, and wisely waited for Jeffords to turn his back before glaring at each other.

“Ha!” Rosa cackled, darting between them nimbly on her broom.

“Shut up, Rosa,” Jake muttered. Not loud enough for her to hear, of course- he didn’t have a death wish.

“Ignore them, Jakey,” Boyle said, patting his shoulder. “They’re all just jealous.”

Jake gave him the best smile he could muster, although it came out as more of a grimace. “Thought all Hufflepuff’s were supposed to be nice.”

“Not all of them,” Charles said, glowering at Boone and his gang. “At least you don’t have to share a common room with them.”

Jake shuddered. “Condolences,” he glared up at his broom where it hovered stubbornly above his head. “Gimme a boost, will you Boyle?”

* * *

 

Potions with the Gryffindors, as usual, was the most fun Gina had had all day. On day one they’d been told to choose a project partner from the other house, so naturally she and Jake had gravitated towards each other (although she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t tempted to ditch him for Rosa now and then- she liked that girl, and she definitely didn’t eat the ingredients as often as Jake did). But the upside of working with Jake was she got to test out their creations on him, that was always fun. Last week she’d made him test their batch of Babbling Beverage, although she couldn’t tell the difference and deemed him an unsuitable test subject.

“ _Baruffio’s Brain Elixer,”_ she read aloud from her book’s table of contents while their sleeping drought simmered on the stove. “’A potion to increase the taker’s intellect’. Ugh, are there any potions in here that can give me things I don’t already have? I mean come on, _beautification potion?_ Please.”

“I know, I know, you’re already gorgeous and amazing,” Jake muttered, glaring down at the steaming cauldron.

She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. Her Something’s-Up-With-Jake Sense was tingling. “What’s up, buttercup? You lose your dessert to Amy again?”

 _“No!”_ he exclaimed, but he looked embarrassed. “Well, yeah, but joke’s on her ‘cause I hate fruit salad, anyway.”

“So what’s the deal, boo boo?” she simpered, patting his shoulder. “Talk to Gina.”

He sighed, stirring the mixture despondently. “Hufflepuff’s are jerks.”

“Jeffords yelled at him,” Rosa translated from the next table, scarcely looking up from her work.

Gina raised her eyebrow. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” he insisted, some of the mixture splashing over the rim of the cauldron.

“Boone insulted him,” Rosa chimed in again, smirking. “And his boyfriend got involved trying to defend his honour.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Jake whined, and Gina could see him fighting down the urge to throw his ladle at Rosa’s head. “And my honour is fine, thank you very much. It’ll take more than _Boone_ to bring me down.”

“Good boy,” Gina grinned, patting his head proudly. “Haters gonna hate.”

“If that’s your attempt at getting me to sing Taylor Swift, it’s not gonna work,” Jake said smugly.

“Why?” she asked with a grin. “You already sing it with Charles this morning?”

His vehement denial took just a second too long to come, and Gina nodded knowingly. Figures.

“Anyway, better think twice before insulting the Hufflepuffs,” she said, tutting and taking the ladle from his hand as the mixture began to bubble. “They’re the ones who traffic the secret snacks from the kitchens. Plus I know someone who’d be mighty upset if they found out you were making such broad generalisations about a house…” she trailed off, waiting for him to get the hint.

He groaned, head slumping on the desk. “Ugh. Forgot.”

Amy Santiago’s first weeks were going about as well as could be expected for the only girl and only Slytherin in an otherwise all-male, all-Gryffindor family. Things were strained between her and her older brothers (whom Jake had the fun task of avoiding in the common room every night), and she was pretty much working herself to insanity trying to prove to them and to herself that her house was no indication of her ability. Gina didn’t know how she’d managed to get so much extra work for herself in her first fortnight of term but she was up to her eyeballs in the stuff now. Not that she cared, obviously. But Jake had a soft spot for that awkward little nerd, and she was therefore her responsibility by extension.

“Guess I should go check on her after class,” Jake said, rubbing his eyes. “Make sure she hasn’t worked herself into a coma.”

“I think a coma would actually be good for her social life at this point,” Gina said. “I mean, it can’t get _worse_.”

“Quit it, Gina,” Jake chastised, taking the spoon back from her and raising it to his face to check the consistency. “Amy has enough problems right now without you- oh, okay, it’s definitely ready.”

He fell dramatically to the floor as the fumes from the sleeping draught took effect, dragging several books and a microscope down with him. The entire class burst into sarcastic applause.

Gina and Rosa leaned over his unconscious (and loudly snoring) body. Gina glanced up at Rosa, one eyebrow elevated.

“Shouldn’t you have at least _tried_ to catch him?” she asked, noting Rosa’s close proximity to her fallen comrade.

Rosa shrugged. “This was funnier.”

Gina grinned. “Atta girl.”

* * *

 

**Four Weeks Later**

“Where _is_ he?” Amy asked for the twentieth time, craning her neck to look back at the door.

Jake glanced up at the clock (which was magic for some reason ‘cause why the heck not). “Nine minutes late, and counting,” he rocked back on his chair to talk to Gina at the desk behind him. “You know that ‘fifteen minutes and we can leave’ rule, does that apply here?”

“Only one way to find out,” Gina nodded, leaning forwards on her elbows and engaging the clock in a staring match.

Jake chuckled and looked back at Amy, rigid in her seat. Defence Against the Dark Arts had both the biggest venue and the teacher with the fewest hours, and therefore all four houses were lumped into class together. Obviously whoever devised that system didn’t realise just how chaotic a room with the entire first year population was going to be.

“Lighten up, Ames,” he said, tugging her hair teasingly. “McGinley’s always late!”

She turned round to glare at him, sweeping her ponytail round to her front as she did so. “That’s the point, Peralta- How’re we supposed to actually _learn_ anything if our professor can’t be bothered to show? I could be working on my herbology profiles right now instead of wasting my time in a class with no teacher.”

“Geez, okay,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Sorry for trying to cheer you up! How about taking a nine-minute power nap instead of stressing yourself and everyone else out, huh?”

She rolled her eyes, but favoured glancing between the clock and the door over continuing the conversation. Jake shrugged and turned back to talk to Gina, but was interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open.

“Good morning,” Headmaster Holt’s voice boomed across the room as he strode down the aisle between the desks. “Unfortunately, Professor McGinley has been forced to take a leave of absence for reasons I am not at liberty to discuss. Therefore, I will be taking on all Defence Against the Dark Arts classes until he is fit to return or a replacement is found. Any questions?”

One hand shot into the air. He cocked his head. “Miss Santiago?”

Amy looked about ready to vibrate out of her seat with excitement. “Can I just say on behalf of all of us, sir, that I am _honoured_ that you would take time out of your busy schedule to teach us-!”

“That’s quite enough, Santiago,” he cut her off, face unmoving. “I am here because there were no other professors with adequate qualifications to teach this subject available at such short notice.”

Amy went bright red and sunk back in her seat, a ripple of laughter spreading around the room. Holt remained impassive.

“Now,” he began, picking up the chalk and reaching up to write on the board. “You will pick up where you left off with Professor McGinley on Monday- if memory serves you should be done with Chapter One: Imps, Gnomes and How to Scatter Them. Yes, Santiago?”

Amy lowered her hand, and her comment came out much quieter this time. “Actually, sir, we haven’t made it that far yet- Professor McGinley had us work on a ten page essay on the introduction to imp identification first.”

Holt frowned. “Not in class, surely?”

She nodded. “Yeah, he said we wouldn’t be doing anything else until it was done.”

“Hmmm,” Holt said, and he might have been annoyed, not that anyone could tell. “Looks like there’s some catching up to do. Moving on.”

Amy looked horrified. “You aren’t going to grade our papers?”

“Turn to page twenty-four,” Holt said, ignoring her in favour of scribbling on the blackboard. “Today we’ll be discussing de-gnoming procedures. Put your hand down, Santiago.”

* * *

 

“Ugh, man,” Jake groaned as they filed out of the classroom, feet dragging along the floor. “Now we have to have the robot principle in _class_ with us? Come on, he’s gotta recharge his batteries _sometime_ , right?”

Amy rolled her eyes. “Well, I for one am _glad_ Holt’s taking over the class- maybe we’ll actually learn something for a change.”

“Yeah, like how to fix broken hard drives,” Jake muttered.

When they reached the great hall for lunch Charles was already there, tucking into a pie at the Hufflepuff table. He waved brightly, gesturing to the empty seats around him. Jake flopped down across from him, Amy on one side and Gina on the other, Rosa taking the seat beside Boyle (much to his surprise and delight). Although being the loyal friend he was he immediately ceased his adoring gaze when he heard Jake’s frustrated sigh.

“What’s the matter, Jakey?” he asked, leaning in a little too close.

“Big Brother is watching us…” Jake replied grimly, only to be greeted by one amused face (Gina), one indifferent (Rosa) and two very bewildered ones. “You know, like the TV show? Come on, I learned about British TV shows just to fit in here and none of you have even _watched_ it?”

Amy and Boyle glanced at each other. “Muggles,” Amy sighed, Boyle nodding in agreement.

Jake and Gina looked horrified (and if Rosa felt the same she was too cool to show it). “Seriously? You guys don’t have _TV_ in the wizarding world?” Jake asked incredulously.

“No TV, no wi-fi- _are you people from the actual dark ages?_ ” Gina exclaimed, waving her hands wildly.

“Oh, you’re right,” Amy said sarcastically. “What on earth will I do without my weird electronic stories with fake dragons in them? I don’t know, maybe I’ll _go see a real dragon_ instead.”

“Oh, you think you’re so high and mighty with your _real_ dragons and your _real_ magic,” Jake sneered. “Well guess what, we’ve got video games!”

She snorted. “Quidditch! Our photos _move!_ ”

_“Have you never heard of GIFs?!”_

“HEY!” Rosa snapped, glaring daggers at them both. She waited until they reluctantly lowered their gazes to the table before continuing. “This argument is stupid. Amy, for muggles all they have to escape the dull misery of their real lives are fake dragons. Jake, there’s no technology round here because magic screws it up. Also you pronounced GIF wrong.”

Gina rolled her eyes. “Oh, God, not this again…”

Amy stood up abruptly, startling Jake out of his return argument. “I’m going to go study,” she said stiffly, sweeping up her books.

“Amy, come on, you haven’t even eaten yet-“ Jake reasoned, but she was already on her way.

Rosa glared at him. “Nice one, Peralta.”

“I’m still confused about the Big Brother thing…” Boyle said quietly.

As Gina went on to explain Holt’s new role in their DADA classes, Jake’s eyes wandered to the place where Amy had been sitting. His gaze alighted on a small wooden case, and he groaned. She’d only gone and left behind the enormous glasses she liked to pretend she didn’t need. She’d have a hard time studying if she was blind, assuming that’s what she was really doing.

“Amy!” he shouted, leaping up from his seat and grabbing the case. He muttered his excuses to the guys before jogging off in pursuit of her. She’d probably fall off of one of the moving staircases in her state.

* * *

 

Amy wasn’t really thinking straight when she stormed out of the great hall. Peralta was just being his usual, irritating self, it was nothing she wasn’t completely used to by now. But with everything that had been going on the last few weeks, she really could use some time alone.

Any hopes she’d had of a quiet walk back were annihilated when she saw the Vulture.

So named because of his tendency to pick at people’s self-esteem like a carrion bird picking the flesh off a carcass, the unpleasant third-year had quite the reputation in the Hogwarts community. Most people didn’t even know his real name anymore, not that anyone would have used it if they did- frankly using a real name would humanise him too much. The Vulture’s victim of choice today was that weird Ravenclaw kid- Dan something, she thought- that everyone avoided, the one who wore his robes slung back like a cape and hummed muggle TV show themes all the time. He was an easy target, but the Vulture was anything but discerning.

Amy kept her head down as she scurried past. There was really nothing she could do to help the boy, not on her own. Right now the best she could do was just get out of the way before-

“Ah, Santiago!”

She groaned. Perfect.

The Vulture swaggered right up to her, his previous victim using the distraction to scuttle to safety. Amy kept walking, hoping he might give up if she didn’t stop. No such luck.

“Hey, slow down, kid!” he laughed, catching up to her and slinging an arm across her shoulders as if they were old friends. “Boy, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were avoiding me.”

“Leave me alone,” she said, clutching her books closer to her chest.

“Aw, Santiago, I’m hurt,” he pouted. “Come on, us Slytherins gotta stick together!”

Amy ground her teeth. Being in a different house to the rest of her family was one thing. Being in a house with _this_ jerk…

“How are your brothers, by the way?” he pressed, a mean gleam in his eye. “They still talking to you, or are they trying to keep their noses clean?”

A part of her was tempted to tell him that yes, her brothers _were_ still talking to her, and if he didn’t get lost right this second she’d yell for them and he’d wish he’d scampered when he had the chance. But she bit her tongue and counted to ten- she’d never needed her brothers’ protection up till this point, and she didn’t plan on starting now.

She was just wishing they’d got to the classes on defensive spells (preferably the type that would knock the Vulture right on his slimy butt in the hall) when she heard a voice behind them. “Hey, Vulture!”

They both turned round, and came face to face with Jake. He had her glasses case clutched in his hand, and a scowl on his face directed at her unwelcome companion.

The Vulture sneered, arm dropping from Amy’s shoulders. “Peralta. Thought you would’ve been expelled by now.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easy,” he nodded at Amy, holding up the case. “You forgot something.”

She scurried forward, grateful to be away from the older boy and his disgusting armpit. She took the case from his hand, silently thanking him with her eyes before turning round to face the Vulture once more, side by side with Jake and feeling much more confident for the company. Not that she couldn’t handle the creep herself, but Peralta was a good guy to have around in a scrape. If the stories Gina told were any indication, he did that classic Gryffindor thing of throwing himself headfirst into dangerous situations- but he always seemed to come out in one piece.

The Vulture must have been put off by the united front they presented, because he turned and began to stalk away, spitting his last words over his shoulder.

“See you around, mudblood.”

Jake stiffened, his jaw tightened, and Amy groaned. _Oh, no…_

“What was that?” Jake called, fists clenched at his sides.

The Vulture turned back to him, satisfied smirk on his thin lips. “You heard me. How’re your folks on the other side, Peralta? You tell ‘em the truth about where you were going, or do they think you’re in a mental hospital?”

Jake visibly bristled, and Amy could just see him getting ready to lash out. She reached out and gently laid her hand on his arm, meeting his glance with a steadying look. Her touch must have calmed him, because she felt some of the tension leave his body.

But the Vulture wasn’t done yet. “Oh, and tell your little mudblood girlfriend I said hi, will you? Hope she’s not finding the classes too hard- but you can tell her my uncle owns a pub and he _always_ needs people to wash dishes. In case she needs something to do once this place spits her out.”

He probably had more parting shots where that came from, but he didn’t get them out before Jake’s clenched fist flew into his jaw.

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur. Fists and insults flew between the two boys, neither of whom had thought to pull out their wands yet, a few other people got involved, including Gina who had apparently followed Jake from the hall predicting trouble and had literally thrown herself into the fray. In the end what ceased the ruckus was a booming voice from the end of the hall, and Amy looked up to see Headmaster Holt standing at the end of the corridor, face like stone, Professor Jeffords looking livid at his side.

“What is going on here?” Jeffords demanded, striding forward and placing himself between Jake and the Vulture, glaring between them both.

“I wasn’t there, but I assumed he started it,” Gina offered, pointing at the Vulture with a smile. Somehow she’d come out of the scuffle with barely more than a flyaway hair.

“Professor Jeffords,” Holt said before Jeffords could speak, stepping forward. “I’ll take care of this. I believe you have a class to get to.”

Jeffords didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded and went on his way. Holt glanced between the two boys, Gina and the small crowd that had gathered around, face unreadable. “Now, who’s responsible for this?”

“He is!” Jake and the Vulture yelled in unison, fingers pointed accusingly at each other.

“Gonna have to side with Jakey on this one,” Gina drawled, shrugging.

“Actually, uh…”

She didn’t know what possessed her to speak, but she had Holt’s attention. He looked down at her, head cocked slightly to the side (which was about as expressive as he got, to be honest). “Yes, Santiago?”

She shuffled her feet. “It’s not Jake’s fault. He was just trying to help. Help me, that is. And Gina was just trying to help him. I’m so sorry, sir, I promise it will _never_ happen again!”

“Indeed,” he said coolly, looking from her back to the scuffed up participants of the fight before his gaze settled on the Vulture. “Pembroke, my office, now. Don’t get too excited, Peralta,” he said as Jake sighed in relief. “I want to see you, Linetti and Santiago in my office in an hour. Don’t be late.”

And with one last nod at the assembled gathering he was gone, Vulture trailing behind with a last glower over his shoulder.

Amy whimpered. “Oh no…”

* * *

 

“Enter.”

The three friends stepped into the office. Gina lead, flouncing through the door like she owned the place, followed by Jake reluctantly dragging his feet and Amy staring at the floor in shame.

Holt leaned back in his chair, at his immaculately tidy desk that stood at odds with the rest of the office. The room was crowded full of antiques and memorabilia, items of monetary or sentimental worth no doubt dating back to the first headmasters of the school who stared (and occasionally smiled or winked) down at them from their paintings. The sorting hat snored quietly on a shelf above the fireplace.

There were no seats near the desk so the trio stood in an awkward cluster while Holt surveyed them inscrutably over his glasses. Finally he took the small wire-frames off and swept his hand, three chairs scurrying out from the crowded corners of the room to line up in front of them.

“Please, sit down,” he said, more of a demand than a request. The three kids took their seats with varying degrees of care, Amy straight-backed and rigid while Jake slumped and Gina lounged.

“So,” Holt said, looking between the three of them. “Of course, you all know why you’re here?”

“Because I punched the Vulture in the face?” Jake offered. Amy smacked his arm in annoyance at his tone. “Sir?” he amended.

“Indeed,” Holt said with a nod, standing up. “This school is one of the oldest, most respected schools of sorcery in the world. You can see why we have to address issues such as this as they arise, and we aim to do so swiftly and fairly. So perhaps, in order for me to correctly ascertain the disciplinary measures required, one of you might tell me the whole story of what happened?”

“Well, sir, the Vul- Pembroke latched onto me and started trying to get in my head about my brothers and my house,” Amy explained meekly, glancing at Jake. “And then Jake came by and got me away from him, but then he started calling Jake a…”

She fell silent. Jake glanced at her, and felt a small flare of gratitude towards her. Even at the Headmaster’s orders she was reluctant to say the word.

“Mudblood, sir,” he finished for her.

Holt nodded slowly. “I see. And that’s when you struck him?”

“Actually, sir, he didn’t do that at first,” Amy said, hand on Jake’s shoulder. “He was going to leave, but then Pembroke started saying these awful things about Gina, and, well…”

“Probably jealous of my sparkle,” Gina said flippantly, tossing her hair.

Holt raised his eyebrow at her- it was probably the most Jake had ever seen his face move- and then turned back to him. “I see. And all three of you can verify this story?”

“Yes, sir,” they all said, nodding frantically.

“I see,” Holt said, leaning back in his chair. “Well, this isn’t the first time we’ve had trouble with Mister Pembroke’s conduct in these halls, so discipline will obviously be in order. As for you three…”

Jake winced, anticipating the letter they’d be writing home to his mom later. So much for staying out of trouble.

Holt leaned forward, elbows on the desk and fingers laced. “Can I get your full, unequivocal guarantee that the events of today will not be repeated?”

Jake frowned. He hadn’t expected that.

“Of course, sir!” Amy yelped, nodding so hard he thought her head might fall off.

“Yeah, whatevs,” Gina drawled, waving her hand vaguely.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Jake mumbled, still taken aback.

Holt nodded once. “Good. You are dismissed.”

Amy was out of her seat like a shot, bowing awkwardly to Holt before scampering. Gina bid him farewell with a jaunty salute before she sashayed away. But before Jake could get much further Holt’s voice called him back.

“Mister Peralta,” he said. “A moment, if you please.”

Jake hung back, watching warily as Holt stood up from his seat and rounded the desk. He walked towards the fireplace, gesturing for Jake to follow, and nodded to a framed photo in the centre. “Mister Peralta, do you recognise anyone in this picture?”

Jake squinted at the tiny impressions of people who grinned and waved at him (wizard photos, still creepy). His eyes were drawn to one outlier, stood apart from the rest. “That’s you?”

“Indeed,” Holt confirmed. “This photo was taken twenty years ago, when I still worked for the Ministry in the Department of Magical Education. Those are the people I worked with. The man who took this photo was my closest friend, and remains to this day. He now works here as a professor, I believe you will have met already- he teaches History of Magic.”

“Professor Cozner?” Jake asked.

“Yes,” Holt nodded, and Jake didn’t think he was imagining the way his tone softened slightly. “Back then he was my devoted friend and trusted confidant. Today he is still both of those things, and more- we were married in ninety-eight.”

“Oh,” Jake said, eyes widening. “Oh!”

“Indeed, _‘oh’_ ,” Holt said, nodding towards the other people in the photograph. “You may notice, Jake, that I was decidedly unpopular in my department. Back then there weren’t many openly gay sorcerers in the ministry. Add in the fact that I was also black, muggle-born and an ex-Slytherin and you can imagine life wasn’t made easy for me.”

“Yikes,” Jake muttered. He may have been young, but he knew enough about the world to know how this kind of thing worked.

“Eloquently put,” Holt said dryly, turning to face Jake. “What I’m trying to tell you, Jake, is that I have faced my fair share of adversity over the years. These days things are much better, and I hope to protect you and your classmates from the worst the world has to offer for as long as possible, but sadly while these sorts of situations may lessen in frequency they never go away, and slurs never lose their power. You will likely face many more in the years to come, as will many of your classmates. Because the world as we know it today is built on power structures, and those who benefit from such a system will do whatever it takes to hold on. But after years of swimming against the tide I am finally here, where I always aimed to be. And one day, if you work at it, and learn how to pick your battles, the same will happen for you.”

“Are you saying I should’ve let the Vulture get away with it?” Jake asked, eyes narrowed.

“Actually, Jake, I applaud your efforts,” Holt said calmly. “You have a temper on you, one you will need to learn to control if you want to get very far, but one thing the events of today have showed me is that your heart is in the right place. The only problem right now is that it rules your head. You have a long way to go, and there is a lot of hard work to do before you reach your full potential- as a wizard, and as a human being. But with time, I can see you going far.”

Jake blinked, staring blankly into the fireplace. “You serious?”

Holt cocked his head slightly. “Do you doubt my sincerity?”

“It’s just…” Jake frowned, thinking back to the day he came home from school, his overworked mom crying in the kitchen because his dad had left them. He hadn’t waited for Jake to get home to say goodbye. “Not many people have told me that before.”

Holt glanced at him with something that might almost be sympathy in his eyes, but didn’t comment. He walked slowly towards his office door, Jake following quietly behind. He didn’t speak again until his hand was on the handle.

“You’re a smart kid, Jacob,” Holt said firmly. “And if the stories from your teachers are to be believed you’re also considerably talented. You could be a great wizard one day. But you need to take the initiative and get yourself there.”

“Yes, sir,” Jake mumbled, still slightly dumbstruck as Holt tugged the door open.

Holt nodded, the corners of his lips tugging ever so slightly up- it was almost a smile. “Think it through, Peralta. Dismissed.”

* * *

 

“What did he say?” Amy demanded. She had Gina had waited outside for him, and Rosa and Charles had joined them.

Jake shrugged. “The usual. ‘Meep-morp-zeep, Lecture Mode Engaged’, y’know, Holt stuff.”

Rosa glared at him. “I can’t believe you started a fist-fight and didn’t call me. Do you know how long it’s been since I punched someone?”

“That’s nice,” Jake said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Charles said, fussing like a mother hen. “Are you okay? Do you have any broken bones? Any open wounds? Do you need a neck massage?”

“What, no, Charles, I’m fine!” Jake exclaimed, swatting the Hufflepuff’s hand away.

“Well, you should at least eat something. Here;” Charles produced a small wrapped sandwich from the sleeve of his robes, pressing it into Jake’s hand insistently. “The hall will have been cleared by now but I made you this.”

“Uh, thanks…” Jake said, grimacing at the small package. Knowing Charles it was probably spicy and came with similar after effects to a bag of puking pastilles, but he’d wait until he was out of sight to ditch it. He didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings.

“Well eat up and get moving- we’re late for Transfiguration,” Amy said, grabbing his sleeve and tugging him along. “All the good toads will be gone.”

“Right, yeah,” Jake said, pushing back thoughts of the robot headmaster’s surprisingly inspirational speech. He’d deal with that later. “You do the homework?”

“Nine pages,” she said smugly.

“Double-sided?”

“And single-spaced.”

He grinned. What a nerd. “Santiago style.”

She smiled back, pushing her enormous glasses up. Obviously she’d decided to give up on the wearing them as little as possible idea. “Hey, uh, thanks. For earlier. Not that I couldn’t have handled it myself but, y’know, I appreciated you stepping in.”

“No problem, jerk had it coming,” Jake said, bumping her shoulder. “’Sides, if I left him to you he’d be in much worse shape so I probably did him a favour.”

Her eyes widened. “Was that a compliment?”

“Yes,” he leaned in, grinning mischievously. “But no one will ever believe you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there it is.  
> Hope you're not expecting this fic to be structured or accurate at all 'cause I'm kinda just making it up as I go along xD  
> Anyway in an ideal world where I'm super motivated I'd go super in-depth and do like ten chapters per year, but since I'm lazy and miserable it'll probably be more like 2-4 chapters per year. May or may not revisit first year one more time before moving on- if you guys have anything you really wanna see in this fic let me know! (also not sure if I'm gonna go in a romantic direction with Gina/Rosa since they're not everyone's cup of tea but there'll definitely be more brOTP stuff with them anyway)  
> Until next time! X


	3. That Happy Holiday Homesickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Nother chapter!  
> Just a little thing about the Christmas holidays in first year- think we'll come back to first year one more time, just to tie it off, before moving along. (also I have no idea what Gina's religious background is but she always seems quite enthusiastic about Christmas, and since she and Jake grew up together I reckon their families used to get together all the time, maybe merge Christmas/Hanukkah dinners to save money and so they'd have company and just generally celebrate the season together. That's my headcanon and I'm sticking to it.)  
> Enjoy!

**Christmas Holidays**

“Thought you’d be going home?”

Jake shook his head. “Mom has to work over the holidays, and Gina’s mom’s in the Bahamas. Rather hang out alone in a castle than alone in our apartments, even with magical trains taking us some of the way it gets pretty pricey. How about you?”

“Yeah, I’m going home,” Amy said, although she didn’t sound too happy about it. “First time I’ve been back since the sorting ceremony. Not exactly expecting to have a relaxing Christmas this year.”

Jake shrugged. “They’re your family- they’ll get used to it.”

“Hope so,” she grumbled, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder just as they heard Professor Jeffords shouting about the last carriages leaving. “Well, guess I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“Good luck!” Jake called brightly with an over-enthusiastic wave, coaxing one last eye-roll out of Amy before she left.

“ _Ooooo-Pineapples!”_ a familiar voice sang.

Jake grimaced as Gina flopped down beside him at the table, stealing some bacon right off his plate. “Morning, Gina.”

“So,” she said with a grin, eyebrows waggling. “It’s official- all the narks have gone home for the holidays.”

“Oooh, this can’t be good,” he said under his breath. Gina had that gleam in her eye that told him she was scheming.

“So, since we have to skip the Linetti-Peralta ChrisHanukkah celebrations this year and we have this place _all to ourselves_ , I say it’s time we embarked on a teensy little quest,” she said sweetly, prodding him in the arm with one very sharp nail.

“What kind of quest?” he asked warily.

“A quest…” she said in a deep voice, pausing for dramatic effect.

She stayed silent so long that he thought she might be broken. Just as he was about to check for a pulse she was back in movement, her arm whipping up from her side and thrusting her phone into his face.

“WI-FI!” she finished, bouncing excitedly in her seat.

Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrow. “Missing your Twitter account?”

“It’s been _three months,_ Jake,” she pleaded, big blue eyes all wide and imploring. “What must my adoring public be thinking?”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t fight the grin from his face. “Okay, I’m in- where do we start?”

“Think I’ve got a lead,” she said. “Guy in my house. Little dude, sorta cute in like a pixie way, goes by the name of ‘Savant’- or likes to think he does. Anyway, I’ve heard rumours about him being pretty handy with the muggle tech so seems like a good place to start. Fortunately he’s still here- his mom’s a total buzzkill so he doesn’t go home unless he has to.”

“Sounds like you’ve already got this all figured out,” Jake observed. “Why d’you even need me?”

“’Cause I miss you, silly!” she said, smacking his shoulder lightly. “Miss hanging with my bestie!”

He gave her a look.

“Okay, and this nerd’s already onto me so I need you to catch him unawares while he’s on the lookout,” she said.

He grinned. “Seems about right. ‘Kay, let’s go.”

*

“Jakey!”

Jake jumped, head smacking against the wall he was crowded against. “Ow!”

Charles immediately looked apologetic. “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry, Jake! Are you bleeding? Here, let me look at it…”

“No, Charles, I’m fine,” Jake said, batting the older boy’s hands away. “Just took me by surprise.”

“Right, yes,” Charles said, frowning. “Not to pry, but why are you huddled in this corner?”

“Waiting for someone,” Jake explained, ushering Charles into the alcove beside him. Last thing he needed was for his cover to be blown. “Kid called Savant- seen him?”

“Nope, I’ve just come from the grounds,” Charles said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I was helping my dad decorate the shack- ain’t no Christmas like a Boyle Boys Christmas!”

Jake winced. He could only imagine the kind of unmentionable food and uncomfortable traditions running rampant in Groundskeeper Boyle’s house at this time of year. “Well, sounds great, Boyle, but keep your voice down- this guy’s a crafty son of a gun. Ears like a bat.”

“So this is like a stakeout?” Charles bubbled. At a confused look from Jake, he shrugged. “Mom was a fan of muggle cop shows. Muggle cops aren’t as cool as aurors, but I learned all the lingo!”

“Right,” Jake said, nodding approvingly. “Yeah, this is a stakeout.”

Charles grinned, whipping a couple of pumpkin pasties from his robes. “I brought snacks!”

“Do you just carry those around?”

“Yeah, of course,” Charles said as if it should be obvious. “In case I get hungry while I’m on the other side of the castle. And it’d be rude not to carry extras for friends.”

Jake grinned. “Where have you been all my life?”

The tender moment was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. They both froze, eyes immediately travelling to the sound, and Jake grinned as he saw the subject of his investigation draw near. “Target acquired,” he whispered.

*

“Well, well, well,” Gina drawled, fingernails clicking on the table in front of her. “Mister Savant, we meet at last. I trust you didn’t find my lair hard to locate?”

“Well, since you sent your goons to escort me, _no,_ ” the Ravenclaw boy said dryly, glancing around at the dusty corner of the library he’d been herded into.

“Any chance we can drop the Bond villain thing, Gina?” Jake asked from Savant’s left. “Let’s just get this over with, I’m starving.”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be late for lunch, either,” Charles agreed, face lighting up. “It’s panini day.”

Gina pouted. “Why must you always ruin my fun?”

“Look, how about you just say what you wanna say and get it over with?” Savant interjected irritably, crossing his arms.

“Oooh, bossy,” Gina cooed, standing up and leaning across the table. “Okay, here’s the thing, kiddo- I need Wi-Fi and I’ve heard you’re the guy to ask. You gonna hook me up, or what?”

“Nice try, Linetti,” he smirked. “But that little trick’s a Savant specialty, and it don’t come cheap.”

She narrowed her eyes. “So name your price.”

He considered her for a moment, and took a few steps forward.

“Tell you what,” he said quietly. “Maybe you and I can help each other out.”

“I’m listening.”

Savant whipped his phone out of his robes, showing Gina the crackly screen. “As you can see, wi-fi’s only half the problem round here. See the thing is, magic and muggle tech don’t work so well together. Magnetic charges, electrical signals, everything gets scrambled, and with the amount of magic flying round here it’s a wonder these things will even switch on.”

She cocked her head. “So, Brainiac, what do you propose we do about it?”

“You help me find a place,” he explained. “Somewhere insulated, with no magical interference. You do that, and I’ll fix up wi-fi for us both. No more pixelated screens, no more sonic feedback, no more waiting ‘til the summer vacation to catch up on Attack on Titan. How about it?”

Gina grinned, hand shooting out. “Lose the nerdy anime crap and throw in some RuPaul, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

*

It wasn’t like Jake to sleep past six on Christmas morning- the longer he slept, the longer the wait for presents and food, and who would put themselves through that?

But on this particular Christmas morning, Jake was finding it difficult to get out of bed. Maybe it was nearly four months of homesickness reaching new heights, maybe it was the knowledge that there would be no presents this year as he was a thousand miles from home and had already spent all he could afford on school supplies and travelling, but he wasn’t feeling super festive right now.

But, as the shrill voice of Gina rudely reminded him from outside every few minutes, he couldn’t stay in bed all day. He made a mental note to hit whoever let her into the Gryffindor common room with a Jelly-Legs Jinx later.

With a loud sigh he slid out of bed, shuffling out of the dorm on socked feet, semi-dressed- not like many people were still around to complain about his Die Hard t-shirt and ratty boxers.

“Morning, Gina,” he called, rubbing his eyes blearily.

“Morning, Jakey!” a voice that definitely was not Gina’s answered.

For the second time in as many days, Jake jumped at Boyle’s voice. “Charles, what’re you doing here?”

“Season’s greetings, delivered right to your door!” the Hufflepuff explained cheerily, thrusting a small package into Jake’s surprised hands. “Merry Christmas!”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Jake said. Knowing Charles it was probably weird cheese or candy from questionable sources, but it was a nice gesture. “Sorry, man, I didn’t get you anything.”

“Not to worry, Jakehammer!” Boyle beamed, not even slightly sarcastically. “Your friendship’s the best Christmas present I could ask for!”

Jake blinked. “Uh… Thanks?”

“Jake!” Gina exclaimed, floating into the room. “Ugh, _finally._ You coming or what?”

“Coming where?” Jake asked, getting more confused by the minute.

“Boyle’s Dad’s,” another voice explained, and Jake spun around to find Rosa staring him down. “He’s invited us all round for breakfast. He sprung the invite on us, we couldn’t say no.”

“Aw, come on, it’ll be _great,_ ” Charles enthused. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted a Boyle Boys Christmas breakfast- your mouths are about to go around the world in eighty minutes!”

“Rosa?” Jake asked, confusion deepening. “No offence, but… you’re still here?”

“It was this or stay with my cousins,” she said flatly. “They play charades.”

“I haven’t seen you all week!”

“I didn’t want to be seen. You weren’t supposed to see me, so you didn’t.”

“I had to hunt her down,” Gina said fondly. “Caught her throwing rocks at the Womping Willow.”

Rosa scowled. “It looked at me funny.”

“It doesn’t have eyes,” Jake muttered, ruffling his hair. “Ugh, fine, gimme a sec- no way I’m going outside in my jammies.”

*

Despite the food (all of which was spicy, even the dessert for some twisted reason) and the quirky company, Christmas in the Boyle household was actually a fun time. They played Bertie Bott’s roulette (which quickly devolved into a war between Gina and Rosa, the two girls biting back the disgust in their hearts in the name of claiming the prize), sang the songs of their people (for the Boyle’s it was some magical world rock anthem, for the others it was Bruno Mars), and Jake even got a kiss under the mistletoe- an incident he demanded Boyle never speak of again. And sadly since Gina’s phone was still out of action she had no pictures for blackmail purposes. Dang it.

Still, awkward accidental lip-bumps aside, it was a fun morning, and they walked back to the castle with a spring in their step. Even Rosa was almost smiling- although that didn’t stop her pulling out all the stops when they paused on their way back to the castle for a snowball fight. It got pretty intense.

“Quit whining,” Rosa snorted as they pushed their way into the Ravenclaw common room behind Gina. “It’s just frozen water.”

“I feel violated,” Jake shivered, shucking off his soaking layers. “Like you shoved snow in the face of my very _soul_. My clothes are ninety percent water…”

She shrugged. “Don’t play the game if you don’t like to lose.”

A few other lounging Ravenclaws glanced up at their messy entrance, but then immediately turned their attentions back to their various activities. Rosa and Jake weren’t exactly an uncommon sight in the tower, being Gina’s primary entourage. One or two of them did scowl at the dripping outer layers they shed all across their carpet, though.

They flopped down into some wooden chairs (Gina made a mental note to get some beanbags or something in here next year because apparently no one considered that even the brainiacs needed to chill once a while) and Gina whipped her thermos from her pocket, unscrewing the cap and deeply inhaling the rich scent of hot cocoa that wafted free. She’d made it that morning, but one of her Ravenclaw sisters had taught her a handy little charm to help keep it toasty all day. Being friends with geniuses was great- all the perks of extra knowledge without picking up the geek reputation for herself.

“How’s the homesickness, boo?” she asked, taking a sip of the steaming cocoa before handing it off to Jake.

He rolled his eyes. “A little louder, don’t think they heard you down in the basement.”

“Hey, I’m homesick too,” she said, shrugging her slender shoulders nonchalantly. “I miss my mom, and my laptop, and my smoke machine…”

“Smoke machine?” Rosa repeated flatly, brow furrowed.

“But first year’ll be over before you know it,” Gina continued without pause. “And then we’ll be back there and counting the days till we can come back here and cast spells and crap.”

“I know,” he said, nodding as he passed the cocoa to Rosa. “It’s not that I wanna leave, I just… I miss it. Sometimes.”

Gina smiled, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and tugging him into her side. Because she was his friend, so she cared and all that crap. Also that smile was a little too sincere for her reputation to handle so she’d rather he couldn’t see it. Fortunately he went right along with it, winding his arms around her waist and squeezing gently. She felt her gross genuine smile widen. Say what you like about Jake Peralta, the kid gave good hugs.

“Merry ChrisHanukkah, Pineapples,” she cooed, ruffling his hair.

He chuckled. “Merry ChrisHanukkah, Gina.”

Gina looked over his shoulder at Rosa, winking. “Wanna get in on this, Diaz?”

Rosa didn’t dignify that with an answer.

*

Jake collapsed into bed that night with a smile on his face. Sure, his clothes were soaking wet and his legs were sore from running, but he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d had that much fun.

He rolled over and reached out for the nightstand, fingers finding the open envelope he’d left there last night. He hadn’t been all that surprised to see Amy’s brother’s owl drop it on the table for him yesterday at breakfast- he’d always suspected that she might write back to complain about whatever awkward encounters she was having at the Santiago family celebrations- but it still sent a shiver of excitement up his spine. As _if_ they sent mail by _owl_ here. Sometimes he forgot that this was his life, now.

He slid the carefully folded paper out of the envelope, eyes skimming once more over the words and smiling fondly.

_Dear Jake_

_You would not BELIEVE the kind of Christmas I’m having._

_My family’s trying to be all polite about it but I can still tell they’re weirded out- my Aunt Maria kept trying to ask me all these questions about being in Slytherin but she refused to actually say the word! Oh God, it was SO awkward, it was like when my brother Donny came out as gay three years ago and everyone was supportive but uncomfortable, for a second I honestly felt like I was coming out of the closet, too! At least they’re trying, I guess._

Jake kept reading, shaking his head and snorting under his breath every now and then. Classic Amy. She liked to complain about how awkward being the Slytherin in a Gryffindor household was, but he reckoned she’d been the awkward one long before that little revelation. The girl was smart as heck and could talk circles around people if she wanted to, but put her in a slightly uncomfortable situation and she developed the most acute case of foot-in-mouth disease he’d ever seen. Truth be told it was pretty damn entertaining.

He got to the last few paragraphs, and his smile softened.

_By the way if you want to write me back Joey’s owl will be around, so give it to her and it’ll get it to me (and I know you can’t spell but just try and make it legible, okay?)_

_I’m really sorry you couldn’t go home- it must suck, not seeing your mom. If you want you can attach a letter for her as well and I’ll send it on- Gina, too, if she wants, although I’m kind of working under the assumption that she doesn’t have feelings and it doesn’t make much difference to her. Offer’s there, anyway._

_Merry ChrisHanukkah, Jake (that’s what you and Gina call it, right?) Say hi to her for me, and Rosa and Charles, too!_

_Amy X_

He tucked the note carefully back in the envelope, sliding the whole lot into his top drawer. He’d write her back tomorrow, and maybe he’d take her up on her offer and write to Mom. He wondered what she was doing right now- was she feeling lonely, or was she too busy to tell? He’d make it up to her in the summer. In the meantime the least he could do was drop her a line.

He sighed, pulling his duvet in to his chin and burying his face in his pillow. He heard a loud crash as someone across the hall threw something against the wall, and smiled softly.

“Night, Rosa!” he called.

A moment’s silence followed his exclamation. Followed by a clipped voice, sounding like it was caught somewhere between anger, guilt and embarrassment. “Night.”

He chuckled, snuggling deeper into his nest of blankets.

He had some very strange friends.

**Spring Term- Day One**

“Hey, Peralta!”

“Ames!” he grinned, bounding over to envelope her in a hug.

She laughed, returning the embrace. “Miss me?”

“Ew, no,” he said, feigning disgust. “But I need someone to spell check my potions essay.”

“Of course,” she smiled, flopping down onto the bench beside him. “So, what’ve I missed?”

“Frostbite and weird food,” Jake said briefly, shrugging.

“And Jake’s _first kiss,_ ” Gina sang from beside him, leering.

“It was an _accidental lip-bump, a_ nd you _swore_ we’d never speak of that again,” he said with a glare. She just smiled, totally unrepentant.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about, Jakey,” Boyle said comfortingly from across the table. “Lots of my relatives kiss each other on the lips, it’s just a friendly gesture. My Aunt Ethel does it to me every year on my birthday.”

Jake pursed his lips. “Too much information, Charles.”

“Kissing’s nothing,” Rosa said bluntly, shaking more sugar onto her pancakes. “Call me when you touch each other’s butts.”

“Hey, check this out,” Amy exclaimed, hastily changing the subject. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with this avenue of conversation. “My uncle gave me this for Christmas!”

“Aw, sweet, my dad used to have one of these,” Jake said, taking the enormous Polaroid camera out of her hands. “Although I’m guessing his wasn’t magical- hey, does that mean this thing takes those moving pictures?”

“You bet it does,” Amy grinned, warmed by his enthusiasm.

“Oh, my gosh, we _have_ to take a group selfie!” Jake beamed, waving his hands impatiently for them to gather round. “Come on! We’ll look at it in our last year and laugh at how ugly and dorky we were, it’ll be great! Gather round, my friends- hey, there any filters on this thing?”

Amy frowned. “Filters?”

“Guessing that’s a no,” he said, looping his arm through hers and tugging her to his side. “Guessing that’s also a no on emojis. Man, I miss my phone. Okay guys, gather round and say cheese!”

The motley crew assembled in a rough cluster around Jake. Gina stuck out her tongue and made a peace sign with her fingers, Charles rested his chin on the top of Jake’s head with a beam, and even Rosa got into the frame- she even smiled a bit, although it looked more like a smirk. Amy glanced up at Jake and his big goofy grin, and felt her own face morphing into a smile of its own volition.

The bulb flashed, the shutter clicked, and the device whirred as it processed the image. Jake lowered his arm and handed the camera back to Amy, reaching out and grabbing the picture as it emerged and shaking it out. His grin only broadened as the image settled and their miniature selves beamed out at them, waving and laughing, playfully jostling each other out of the way.

“Aw, sweet,” Jake grinned, handing the picture to Amy. “Hey, promise me you’ll send us copies of that?”

“Will do,” she smiled, just as mini Jake reached up to ruffle mini Amy’s hair.

“Jake?”

Jake looked up, surprised to realise Gina was trying to catch his attention. “Yeah?”

“After class, you coming? Me and Rosa are gonna keep searching for the Promised Land.”

“And by that you mean the place where phones work?” Jake grinned.

“Duh!”

“Heck yeah, I’m in!” he said, turning to Amy. “How ‘bout you, Ames?”

She chuckled. “Nah, you guys go. Got back late last night, I need to unpack.”

He shrugged. “Okay. See you later for transfiguration, then?”

She smiled, scooping up her books. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

*

_Hey Mom!_

_Ok, I’m gonna keep this quick ‘cos if I start talking about all the MAGIC I’m doing I will LITERALY never stop. It’s awesome (which I just found out starts with an A. Amy helps me with my spelling, now)! Basicly this school rocks, we have a robot principle with a heart of gold and the other day I learned how to make stuff FLOAT (so far I can only do feathers, but its something!)_

_Anyway, just checking in- my friend Amy let me use her owl to send you this! Oh yeah, I HAVE FRIENDS. She’s kind of a dork but she also rocks. Theres Gina, of course, and Rosa- who’s SUPER scary, but that’s good, it kinda feels like having a bodyguard. Also Charles, who TOTALLY has a crush on Rosa, plus really weird taste in food (but he always carries cakes so I’m cool with that, except when their spicy. WHY are they spicy?) We spent xmas with him and his dad, it was pretty fun, even though I was sick for like the next week (combo food poisoning and a cold, we had a snowball fight and it got a little crazy)._

_Happy Hanukkah, mom (sorry its so late), hope your not working too hard! I’ll catch you up on everything when we get home- in the meantime, check this out; MAGIC PHOTOS. Pretty rad, right? That’s me and my friends, you can probably guess who’s who. Love ya!_

_Jake XOX_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it.  
> Sorry if that kinda sucked- tbh I'm doubting my writing a lot right now, it's so hard for me to even do it these days since my head feels so scrambled. If anyone has any feedback I'd really appreciate it- even a five-word comment really helps my motivation so please, if you've got anything to say just say it!  
> Until next time X


	4. Intro To Knockback Jinxes & Sneaky Coffee Joints

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!  
> Bit of a delay, sorry 'bout that- short chapter this time to tie off first year. Next time I might kick off second year with a trip to Diagon Alley or something- if anyone has requests/suggestions send 'em my way!  
> Also don't worry, I will work on including Terry and Holt more- as they grow to know the kids they'll probably feature in stories more. We're only in first year, plenty of time left!  
> So yeah, enjoy!

**Three Days Till Summer Vacation**

_“Flipendo!”_

Jake would forever treasure the high-pitched yelp of surprise that emitted from Boone’s mouth as he was flung backwards, colliding loudly with a desk and scattering quills and parchment everywhere.

Holt looked at Jake with something between pride and disapproval (or maybe neither, he could never tell). “Very good, Mr Peralta, although in future when practicing on your classmates you might consider approaching the spell with a little less vivacity.”

Jake’s jaw dropped. “Sir, are you suggesting I _not_ perform to the best of my ability?”

“I’m merely suggesting you remember that your fellow classmates are, in fact, breakable human beings like yourself,” Holt said, helping the grumbling Boone off the floor.

“But not like _your_ self?” Jake asked, grinning and nudging Gina with his elbow, speaking to her in a stage whisper. “It’s becoming self-aware!”

“Well, I think that’s enough for today,” Holt said as Boone slouched grumpily back to his desk. “You all have your homework to do over summer vacation- although I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that the use of practical magic outside of Hogwarts is cause for expulsion, so paperwork only if you please. I have been looking over the class schedule for the next academic year and have managed to make some changes to make these lessons a little less crowded- you will be split into two groups, which will be announced when term commences. Any questions?”

Amy’s hand shot up. “Will you still be teaching us, sir?” she asked eagerly, and Jake rolled his eyes.

“Yes, at present we are unable to find a replacement teacher with the correct qualifications for this subject,” he said emotionlessly, ignoring her excited squeak. “Which brings me onto my other point- as this class is now monopolising much of my time I find myself in need of assistants. Should you choose to apply for the position next year you will have a designated shift in my office after classes in which you will assist me with the various mundane tasks I find myself with little time for.”

“You can count on me, sir!” Amy bubbled.

Gina raised her hand lazily. “What do we get if we take the job? Like, I’m thinking we should get homework exemption or I dunno, two hundred dollars an hour.”

“You will get valuable experience in the field of magical admin, and my personal gratitude,” Holt said, face unmoving. “I’ll put both your names on the sign-up sheet, since you’re both so eager.”

Amy’s “ _Yes!_ ” and Gina’s “ _Noooooooo!_ ” overlapped, and Jake giggled. Amy and Gina locked in an office doing paperwork together, truly a recipe for hilarity.

Holt dismissed the class, and they all got up and began haphazardly gathering their things, eager to get out of there. Last DADA class of the year, and only a couple of days of school left before they’d be on their way home for the holidays. Not that Jake wasn’t loving the whole magic school thing, but he missed his mom, too. She’d even taken a week off work so they could spend some time together.

“Jake!” Gina called, grabbing his wrist. “Ditch your stuff, we’re going room-hunting!”

He groaned. “Geez, Gina, can’t I at least go have lunch first?”

“No time!” she whined, dragging him towards the door. “I still haven’t found anywhere in this place to make my phone work, and I will _not_ leave empty handed. If I have to come back to _another_ year of no Wi-Fi I’m gonna snap, like a twig, or Charles’ resolve.”

“Gina, I’ve got a test this afternoon,” he argued, nodding to Amy across the room. “Transfiguration. Amy’s my study buddy.”

“Ugh, fine,” she pouted, turning to Rosa expectantly. “You’re coming, right?”

Rosa shrugged. “Sure.”

“Hey, you’ve got the test too, y’know!” Jake called after her.

“I studied already, dude,” she said plainly. “And so did Amy.”

She and Gina left without another word, and Jake turned to Amy. “When did you study?”

“Two weeks ago,” she said, scribbling a note in her self-issued lesson planner.

He frowned. “Why’d you say you’d study with me, then?”

She shrugged, pushing her enormous glasses back up the bridge of her nose with her pen. “Extra preparation couldn’t hurt. Plus if you didn’t have me looking over your shoulder you’d be bunking off again, filming those stupid movies on the moving stairs with Charles.”

“Uh, they’re called _Vines,”_ Jake said. “And we gave up on that- our phone cameras are still jinxed by all the magic round here. Look, if you’ve already studied you don’t have to wait for me- go doodle Holt’s name in hearts on your notebook or whatever you do with your free time, it’s fine.”

She bumped his shoulder as she passed. “Just shut up and get your books, Peralta. You did at least read chapter five like I told you to, right?”

“Is that the one with all the pictures?”

She sighed. “We have a lot of work to do.”

* * *

 

“I will _not_ be defeated, Rosa,” Gina said firmly, squinting suspiciously down the hall. “There’s a tech compatible place somewhere in this dump, and I _will_ find it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Rosa said, unconvinced. “I’m gonna go eat, before Boyle gets the last pumpkin pasty.”

“Traitor!” Gina called after her, not even eliciting a reaction as Rosa sloped off down the hall. “Deserter! What about loyalty? And _honour?_ ”

“Hungry,” Rosa said, and Gina just caught her final shrug as she disappeared round the corner.

“Ugh,” Gina muttered, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. “Bitches ain’t faithful, these days.”

She raised her phone, glaring at the crackling screen. “Come on, I didn’t spend three months begging Mom for you so you could crap out on me, now. Work!”

It was at that moment that she noticed the door.

She frowned, walking over cautiously. She didn’t remember seeing it before, and she could’ve sworn it hadn’t been there a few minutes ago. She probably would have remembered- it was weirdly modern looking, with white-painted wood and a clear glass window, it didn’t exactly blend in.

She ran her hand over the painted wood slowly, tapping her manicured nail lightly against the grain. No sign of any engravings, no words or instructions, and despite the window apparently being clear glass she couldn’t actually _see_ anything beyond. Her interest was definitely piqued.

“Reveal your secrets to me, door,” she whispered, hand closing around the knob and turning it slowly.

The door swung open with a creak, and Gina blinked at the sight that awaited her on the other side.

It looked like any hipster coffee joint she’d ever been in with her mom. The seating was a mixture of wooden chairs, comfy chairs and beanbags, all of which came in various shades of green and orange. Weird abstract art covered the walls, and at the other side of the room was a bar, nothing alcoholic but it was pretty well stocked in treats of the sweet and caffeinated variety.

That was when she saw the sticker on the specials board.

_Free Wi-Fi Available Here!!!_

“…What in the name of Poseidon’s peachy buttcheeks?”

* * *

 

“Rosa!”

Rosa groaned. She was going to find whoever handed their common room’s password over to Gina and toss them in the lake. “Yeah?”

Gina grabbed her arm without preamble. “No time to explain, come on!”

“What the Hell?” Rosa exclaimed as Gina dragged her bodily out of the room.

“Just _move!”_ Gina crowed, towing her down the first flight of stairs within seconds of them changing direction. “I’ve found it!”

That halted Rosa’s objections. “What?”

“I’ve found it! The Promised Land! Our Babylon!” Gina squeaked, shoes skidding as she turned a corner.

“No way!” Rosa laughed, racing to keep up. “How? Where?”

“I don’t know how we missed it- it was right under our noses! Don’t you dare!” she cut in, brandishing a finger in Rosa’s face as she predicted the nose joke she was about to make. She sure took the fun out of stuff, sometimes. “Come on, it’s right round…”

Gina stared slack-jawed at what looked very much like a blank wall to Rosa’s eagle eyes.

“…Here. What?” Gina said, dragging her hands across the stone. “It was here!”

Rosa stared at her and her frantically scrabbling hands with concern. “You okay?”

“It was right here, I swear!” Gina whined, smacking her head against the wall in frustration (though not hard enough to mess up her hair, obviously). “Stupid magic walls!”

“What did you think was down here?” Rosa asked.

“Not think, _know,_ ” Gina said firmly, crossing her arms. “There was a big door, right here. I opened it up and there was like this Wi-Fi café in there, and it was all magic-proof and crap inside and _my phone worked_. Goddammit, it was here!”

“A Wi-Fi café?” Rosa said sceptically. “Really, Gina?”

“I’m serious!”

It wasn’t in Rosa’s nature to back away from stuff. But she made an exception for the slightly deranged look in Gina’s eyes. “Cool…” she muttered, not turning around until she was round the corner and Gina was out of sight.

That girl needed some time off. Or a padded room.

* * *

 

A few metres away, Gina glowered at the blank wall where the mysterious door had been.

“…You win this round,” she hissed.

* * *

 

**Last Morning at Hogwarts**

“Gina!” Jake called from his vantage point atop the Gryffindor table, scowling at the milling crowd. “Where _is s_ he?”

“Mister Peralta,” Holt said, making Jake jump. How did he sneak around like that? “The table is for eating, the _floor_ is for standing.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jake muttered, hopping down. “Just looking for someone…”

“Last I saw Miss Linetti was already on her way down to the carriages,” Holt said. “As I recall, she was muttering something about a Wi-Fi café conspiracy.”

Jake frowned. “Huh. Okay. Well, uh, guess I’ll go find her. Thanks, sir!”

“It was no trouble. Oh, and Peralta?” he waited until Jake turned to face him before giving him a short, sharp nod. “Good work this year. Keep it up.”

And with that, he was gone, probably to intimidate some other aimless students with the Robocop routine.

A smile tugged at the corners of Jake’s mouth. “Thanks, sir,” he repeated quietly, before leaving in search of Gina and two long months of summer vacation.

* * *

 

“Peralta!” Rosa shouted from the train window, nodding sharply. “Come on.”

“Be right there,” he called back, glancing around the crowded platform. “Just need to find… Ah! Gina! Woah, you okay?”

Gina’s right eye twitched. “The hipster café has foiled me.”

“ _Ohhhhh-_ kay,” Jake muttered, watching her shamble zombie-like towards the Hogwarts Express.

“Jake!”

“Hey, Ames!” he grinned, slinging an arm around his friend’s shoulder as she approached. “Come to ride with the cool kids?”

She rolled her eyes. “Came to check on Gina. She okay? Seems kinda… frazzled.”

“Walked by muttering something about cafes and defeat,” he shrugged. “Just Gina being Gin- _argh!”_

“I’m gonna miss you, Jakey!” Boyle sobbed, having practically tackled Jake to the ground with the force of his embrace. “Promise you’ll write? _Promise!”_

“Careful, Boyle,” Amy laughed. “His handwriting’s illegible.”

“Jeez, yes, Boyle, I’ll write!” Jake assured him, patting his back awkwardly. “How ‘bout you let a guy breathe?”

“Sorry, Jake!” Boyle said, still choked up. “I’m just gonna miss you _so darn much!_ And now you guys are all gonna ride home together while I’m stuck here and I’m gonna miss out on all that bonding time- you owe me three hours of bonding time next year!”

“Sure, Charles,” Jake laughed, ruffling the older boy’s hair. “I promise buddy,” the train whistle bellowed, and the three of them jumped. “Ah, jeez, looks like that’s our cue- have a good summer, Boyle!”

“Have a _great_ summer, Jakey!” Boyle countered, waving frantically as they both jumped aboard. “Bye, Amy!”

“Bye Charles!” she called just as the doors closed behind them.

They picked their way down the still bustling aisle, eventually finding the compartment where Rosa and Gina were lurking.

“So,” Jake said, dropping down beside Gina with a grin. “Crazy year, huh?”

The look of exhaustion-induced madness was gone from her eyes, and all that remained was determination. “I won’t be fooled again, Pineapples. Oh, no. Next year, Babylon is mine…”

“Okay, I’m gonna talk to Rosa now since you’re clearly stuck in some twisted mental labyrinth,” he said brightly, turning away from her. “So, Rosa, plans this summer?”

“None of your business.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “Guess you’re my last shot, Amy- summer plans?”

“We’re visiting my _abuela_ in New Jersey,” she said, grimacing. “Her house is really small, I have to share a room with three of my brothers. They always bring Sharpies.”

“Ah, now _that’s_ the kind of good old-fashioned muggle prank I can get behind!” Jake laughed. “Oh, God, promise you’ll send me selfies when they draw on you?”

“No chance, Peralta,” she scowled.

“Fine, guess I’ll just have to draw on you myself next year,” he smirked.

“Well, you’ll have to get your victory somewhere,” she conceded, smiling smugly. “’Cause our house is gonna win again.”

“Oh, no, that was a one-time deal, Slytherin!” Jake said, waggling his finger. “Next year the cup goes to the cool kids! Gryf-fin-dor! Gryf-fin-dor!”

“Gryf-fin-dor!” a voice chanted from outside the window, and they looked outside to see Boyle still loitering on the platform and joining Jake’s chant.

“Thank you, Boyle!” Jake beamed, and the two of them high-fived the glass. “See? Even Boyle agrees- next year’s my time to shine!”

“Dream on, Peralta,” she laughed. “I bet you won’t even win _once_ in all the time we’re at school here!”

He raised his eyebrow. “Santiago, is that a challenge I hear?”

She crossed her arms. “Maybe.”

He grinned. “A wager, then! I bet you that in the complete seven years we’re here, _including_ the one just gone, Gryffindor wins the House Cup more times than Slytherin.”

“That means I’m already one up- sure you wanna commit to this?” she said smugly.

“Oh, yeah! You got lucky this time, but next year begins the Reign of Jake!” he exclaimed, springing to his feet and clenching his fist determinedly. “Prepare to lose, Santiago!”

“Woah, woah, hold up,” she laughed. “What are the stakes?”

He narrowed his eyes. “A million galleons.”

“Nice try, you’re wearing second-hand robes,” she said, shaking her head. “Try again.”

“Public humiliation,” Rosa interjected from the side, shrugging. “Don’t need any money for that.”

“Okay,” Amy said, grinning and whipping out her notebook, scribbling with her travel quill. “If I win, you have to stand up in front of the entire school and say these exact words!”

She turned the book around to let him see, and his brows drew together.

“ _I, Jake Peralta, admit that Amy Santiago is the coolest girl in school,”_ he read disbelievingly.

“Oh, one sec!” She said, scribbling one more thing before turning it back round.

“ _And the most grammatically correct,”_ he finished, snorting.

She grinned. “I might add a little more over the years, but you get the idea.”

Jake met her gaze steadily. “Yeah, sure. I’ll take that action.”

“And if you win?” she asked flatly, like she was barely considering the possibility.

“ _When_ I win,” he said, racking his brains for the best wager. What would cautious, prudent, professional Amy Santiago find most humiliating? That was when it hit him, and he grinned devilishly. “When I win, you have to go on a date with me!”

She blinked (and he thought she might have blushed, but that was probably his imagination). “What?”

“A date,” he repeated, smirking. “On the last day of school. You will publicly ask me out at the end of year feast, and the date will include embarrassing couples selfies and souvenir t-shirts printed with the most unflattering picture of the night.”

“Oooooh,” Gina sang, apparently out of whatever coffee-related nightmare she’d been trapped in and matching Jake’s evil grin.

Amy met each of their gazes, and set her jaw. “Okay. Deal.”

He grinned, spitting in his palm and holding out his hand. “Better get your best date outfit ready, Ames!”

She pulled a tissue from her pocket and wrapped it round her palm before taking his sticky hand in hers. “Better start rehearsing your lines,” she countered. “And no half-assing it, I want this confession sincere and heartfelt.”

“The deal is struck!” Gina announced dramatically, placing her hand over both of theirs. “No take-backsies!”

The train whistle blew for the final time, and the slow chug of the train wheels kicking into motion filled the air. Jake waved out the window at the emotional Charles jogging alongside the train until the platform ended and the frantically waving Hufflepuff was finally left behind, at which point he slumped back into the seat beside Gina with a sigh.

“Wow,” he huffed, grinning. “Crazy year, huh?”

“The _craziest,”_ Gina agreed, leaning into his side.

“We don’t get flying lessons next year,” Rosa said grumpily, crossing her arms. “What’s even the point of going back?”

“You could try out for the quidditch team,” Amy suggested.

“I don’t do team sports,” Rosa said with a glower.

“So you don’t even want to be a beater?”

Rosa raised her eyebrow. “A what?”

“Y’know- you ride round and knock the balls around with bats,” Amy said, waving her hand vaguely. “Try and knock the bludgers into the other team, stuff like that.”

Rosa’s eyes lit up. “Interesting…”

“Soooo, Gina,” Jake said, hastily changing the topic to something less potentially violent. “Pizza at Sal’s when we get back to Brooklyn?”

“Heck yeah,” she grinned. “That place must be going outta business without us there.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he said, horror-struck. “Oh God, you don’t think it’s _really-?”_

“Shush,” she said, placing a silencing finger on his lips. “Enough paranoia, you’ll give yourself wrinkles.”

“God, Gina, don’t toy with my emotions like that,” he pouted.

“Sorry, hon,” she drawled, rolling her eyes. “Won’t happen again. Now you gonna give me some of that candy you stuffed up your sleeves or do I have to wrestle it from you?”

“Get those talons anywhere near me and I’m calling the magic police,” he chuckled, rummaging round for sweets and revealing a pack of sherbet lemons. He offered one to each of his cabin mates before taking one himself, raising it above his head. “I propose a toast- to wagers!” he grinned, winking at Amy.

She narrowed her eyes and raised her sweet. “And to victory,” she said smugly.

“To violence,” Rosa said flatly, joining the toast.

Finally Gina raised hers with a broad grin. “To Wi-Fi!”

“ _To Wi-Fi!”_ they all repeated, laughing around their candies as the train carried them away from magic and mystery, and back to the world as they used to know it.

But just until September.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE BET IS ON.  
> Hope that was a satisfactory end to first year! Some years may go on longer than others chapter-wise, really depends on how many notable things take place.  
> Anyway, comments are always much appreciated, and thanks muchly for reading my chums!


	5. Shopping Sprees & Slumber Parties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllllo!  
> Quick lil' chapter to kick off year two- I wanted to show our little gang paying Diagon Alley a visit. A big chunk of this chapter is from Amy's POV because tbh I love her, she's my cinnamon roll, and it makes me happy to see her making friends :)  
> Enjoy!

**August 31 st **

“Oh. My _God._ This place is so _dope!”_ Jake exclaimed, grin threatening to split his face in half. He’d already seen this place last year, but his excitement refused to wane.

Diagon Alley was even more awesome than he remembered. Magic oozed from every vestibule (as Amy would probably say), shops he never would have thought existed all bustling with activity. His restless feet were dying to drag him in about fifty different directions at once.

“I want to go to Flourish and Blotts, first!” Amy grinned, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. “I want to see if there’s any new books on magical art history- there’s a painting on the third floor that Holt’s husband loves and I wanna learn all I can about it.”

“Uh, uh, boo, we’re going to Madam Malkin’s, first,” Gina corrected her patiently, waggling her finger. “I’ve been saving my allowance all summer and I intend to reach my full potential for fabulousness this year, and to hell with buying oversized robes that I can ‘grow into’. I intend to grow in _height_ , not width.”

“I’m going there,” Rosa said flatly, leaving no room for argument as she broke away from the group and strode determinedly to the second hand broomsticks store.

“You’re _all_ wrong,” Jake said brightly, gesturing to the only store that really mattered. “Gambol and Japes! Come on, let’s go!”

“Fine- and _then_ books,” Amy said sternly, but Gina and Jake paid her no mind as they made a beeline for the joke shop.

* * *

 

Two hours later found the group settled outside of Florean Fortescue’s, eating some of the most delicious ice cream Gina had ever tasted. She sat back, satisfied, her brand new tailored robe tucked into a bag at her feet, watching Jake excitedly rummage through his joke shop haul and Amy flip through her books.

It had been Jake’s idea to arrange to meet up with Amy and Rosa the day before school started, when they were all in London shopping for supplies. Gina would have enjoyed it more without the pet nerd, but having her round made Jake happy. And anyway, at least she got Rosa. That scary girl was rapidly ascending to the top of the ‘Gina’s Favourite People’ list.

Rosa was sitting beside her, hand running fondly along the length of her new(ish) broomstick. Even when she’d scraped all her savings together she’d only been able to afford a beat-up old Nimbus 1000, and Gina seriously questioned the likelihood of her making the quidditch team with that hunk of junk. When she’d voiced her concerns, however, Rosa had just smirked and said ‘A broom’s only as good as its rider’, and said no more on the matter. That girl had determination, and Gina was starting to think she’d make it onto the team riding a chopstick if she chose to.

“So let me guess,” Amy said, smirking at Jake. “You’re gonna spend the last of your money on candy.”

He looked contemplative for a minute, leaning back. “We’ll see what we shall see.”

Amy snorted, and with good reason. Like he would ever spend spare cash on anything but candy and pranks. Still, Gina let him think he was being mysterious for once, instead turning to Rosa with a grin. “So, you staying at the Leaky Cauldron? We should have a bestie’s slumber party. I could paint your nails black, to match your hair. And your soul.”

“Yes, I am staying there,” Rosa said, glowering. “And no, you are not painting my nails.”

“Ugh, fine, just chick flicks and popcorn, then?” Gina yielded, Rosa’s distaste only fuelling her.

Amy perked up, brushing a strand of hair from her face and revealing more of her hideous glasses. “You guys hanging out tonight?”

Before Gina had a chance to state firmly that no, she was _not_ invited, Jake broke in with a complaint. “Hey, how come you guys all get to hang out while I’m all alone? No fair!”

“You can come,” Rosa said plainly, apparently addressing both of them, and Gina almost did a double take. It wasn’t like Rosa to actually _offer_ to spend time with people.

Amy looked so excited about the concept that even Gina didn’t have the heart to uninvited her. Goddamn Jake, infecting her with his sappiness. “Great! Ooh, my brother lent me some of his playing cards, we can play snap!” Amy squeaked excitedly.

Jake grinned. “Oh, Ames, time to think bigger,” he said smugly, pulling one of his recent purchases from the bag. “Did someone say _exploding snap?”_

Rosa and Gina cheered, while Amy paled. Gina raised an eyebrow at her. “Not scared are you, kiddo?”

Something in the way she said it must have set her off because Amy’s face hardened, and she set her jaw and met her gaze defiantly. “No way,” she said steadily, snatching the cards from Jake’s hand and riffling through them. “Prepare to lose.”

“Challenge accepted!” Jake grinned, leaping up from his seat and then remembering something. “Hey, you guys can head back, I just gotta go do something real quick. I’ll catch up to you- don’t start without me!”

* * *

 

Amy was still wondering what exactly the ‘thing’ was that Jake needed to do right up until the moment when he turned up in the Leaky Cauldron holding a small wooden box. A wooden box that appeared to be squeaking.

“Isn’t he great?” he beamed as he opened the lid, revealing the small, scruffy little brown rat inside.

“You spent your last money on a rat?” Amy asked incredulously. Even for Jake, that seemed unlikely.

“I hate being the only guy without a pet,” he pouted, picking up the rat and stroking its scruffy head affectionately. “He’s called Algernon and I love him.”

“Algernon was a mouse, dude,” Gina said.

He rolled his eyes. “Well, sorry, Little Miss Perfect, but there were no mice in stock… And I didn’t pay much attention to that reading assignment.”

“At least it’s not a dog,” Amy said, although she still kept her hands to herself. Rats kind of creeped her out. “I’m allergic.”

“Oh, so _that’s_ why you never come with us to Mr. Boyle’s place!” Jake said, understanding dawning. Amy nodded. That was definitely at least part of the reason- although to be honest she also didn’t quite know what to think of the ‘Boyle Boys’ yet. She knew all about weird families but there was a line and they were way past it. Something else occurred to Jake. “Oh yeah, did you do well enough on your exams to get an owl, yet?”

She nodded so hard her glasses almost fell off. “Yes! Oh, my gosh he’s _so_ cute, he’s called Raymond and he-!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Gina said, flapping her hand in a silencing motion. “Look, dorks, are we gonna stand in the foyer all day or are we gonna get moving?”

In the end they all decided on gathering in the room Amy’s parents had helped pay for, where she and Gina were supposed to sleep. Their luggage was already there and Gina had the best stuff, including a laptop and her mom’s Netflix password. The magic around the Leaky Cauldron was nowhere near as strong as Hogwarts, so they managed to watch Captain America without much more than the odd crackle of the speakers.

They probably intended to go back to their own rooms at some point, but as the evening wore on, and one game of exploding snap became ten (after years of being needled by her brothers, Amy could hardly let Gina’s accusation of cowardice slide), and the Netflix queue grew longer, somehow they’d all just decided it wasn’t worth the hassle.

It was only as she was drifting off, sprawled over the end of the bed, with Rosa’s cold feet jabbing her in the leg and Jake’s sleep mumbling drifting up from the floor, that Amy realised this was the first time she’d ever had a sleepover with friends.

She hugged her pillow close to her chest, and took a moment to be grateful that everyone else was already asleep. No matter how deep she buried her face in her cushion, nothing could possibly hide the giddy smile breaking across it.

* * *

 

**September 1 st **

“And you’re _sure_ it’s locked?” Jake demanded for the fiftieth time, eyeing the owl in its cage warily.

Amy rolled her eyes at him as she hefted the cage onto the seat. “He’s not gonna eat your rat, Jake. God only knows where that thing’s been.”

Jake gasped, affronted, covering the tiny rat’s ears with his hand. “That was uncalled for,” he chastised, ruffling its soft brown fur comfortingly. “What did Algie ever do to you?”

“Had the world’s most annoying owner,” she muttered, flopping down beside Raymond’s cage and stroking his feathers through the bars. Jake dropped down beside her, Algernon scurrying into his jacket pocket, presumably to make its little ratty nest and sleep for the rest of the journey. Gina and Rosa entered the compartment and sat down just as the train’s final whistle sounded, and they began to slowly lurch forward.

Amy was going to lean against the window and just watch the scenery as they left London behind, but she was distracted by the sight of Gina hefting a large duffle bag onto her lap and unzipping it with a sly grin. Amy’s eyes widened with every item that was removed from its confines; an enormous ball of twine, chalk, two cans of hot pink spray paint, a compass, a dowsing pendulum, nails and a hammer, several phone chargers and a crowbar. “What the-?”

Gina quirked an eyebrow at her. “That crafty Costa will not defeat me again,” she explained, checking off all the items on her fingers before beginning the arduous process of re-packing them.

Jake appeared to be more interested than concerned. “Is it actually a Costa?”

Gina shrugged. “There’s coffee, Wi-Fi and some serious hipster vibes. Close enough.”

“You should come up with a new name for it,” Jake suggested, grinning. “Ooh, you could turn it into a speakeasy! ‘Gina’s Cantina’! I can tend the bar, and it can be invite-only and everyone gets chocolate milk- it’ll be just like _Bugsy Malone_!”

Gina grinned, high-fiving him. “I like the way you think, kid- you’re hired. Now we just gotta find the joint.”

Jake nodded furiously, rummaging round in the small bag containing his robes. “I got your text before we left, I’ve got it somewhere round here… yes!” he whooped, hand emerging with a tattered brown hat in his grasp. He placed the crumpled eyesore on his head, beaming. “We’re gonna Indiana Jones this sucker!”

“How old is that thing?” Amy asked, seriously suspecting that it might fall apart at any minute.

“No idea- Dad gave it to me,” Jake said, tone light but something a little off.

“Well, it’s not going to last much longer if you hold it like that- give it,” Amy said, whipping the hat from his head and setting it on her lap. She pulled her wand from her purse and cleared her throat, calling the relevant charm to mind and hoping she was remembering it right. “ _Reparo!_ ” she incanted clearly, flicking her wand at the tattered fabric and watching in satisfaction as the rough edges smoothed over, the ripped seams tugging back together.

With a satisfied smile she handed the now much sturdier hat back to Jake, who was staring at her like she’d just hung the moon. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“Last year. In school. While you were asleep,” she said smugly, recalling that particular charms lesson, when Jake had stayed up a little _too_ late the night before playing a very intense game of Bertie Bott’s Roulette with Rosa in their common room.

He pouted. “That was _one_ time.”

“Hey!” Gina interrupted, snapping her fingers in front of Jake’s face. “Focus! We’ve got a plan of action to go over. Rosa’s abandoning me to quidditch practice so you’re my only hope.”

“Right, yeah, sorry,” he said, putting his adventuring fedora back on with a sharp tug. He turned to Gina and gave her an over-enthusiastic salute. “Ready to receive orders!”

Amy sat back as Gina began going through her plan, but she sort of tuned out after hearing the girl utter the phrase ‘in order to catch a café, we gotta _think_ like a café’. She turned her gaze out the window and smiled softly, ruffling Raymond’s feathers.

She had a good feeling about this year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had fun!  
> (And don't worry, Gina's mean right now but I'm gonna throw in some serious bonding time with her and Amy sometime- tbh I love the way their relationship's been developing in the show so I'm probably gonna try and do something similar).  
> Feedback, as always, is much appreciated!  
> Until next time! X


	6. Wi-Fi in a Winter Wonderland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY SORRY I'M SO LATE SORRY
> 
> Well, here you go, more magical fluff. There's the first stirrings of Rosa/Marcus in this chapter, but don't get used to it- Rosa/Gina is still my ultimate endgame so don't expect Rosa's early romantic entanglements to last. Not sure how long I'll drag it out but I'm pretty sure Rosa and Gina aren't getting together til like, year five or six, so...
> 
> Enjoy!

**October**

 

“Target acquired,” Gina said quietly, eyes locked on the inviting door looming up out of the stone walls ahead of her. A door which had definitely not been there two hours ago.

 

“I’ve got a lock on your position,” Jake’s voice chimed from somewhere to the left, as gruff as his weedy twelve year-old vocal chords could go. “No readings on the target- keep it in your sights, over.”

 

“You’re literally standing two feet away,” Gina said with a roll of her eyes, glancing to Jake where he loitered around the corner, speaking into an imaginary walkie talkie.

 

He glared back. “Wow, who are you, the fun police?” he demanded in his usual voice, before slipping back into his spy persona (which was wildly at odds with the Indiana Jones fedora still perched on his head, but whatever). “What’s your plan of attack? Over.”

 

“Shhhh,” she scolded quietly, taking a step closer to the door. “You’ll spook it. We gotta be sneaky…”

 

“Gotcha. Sneaky. Affirmative, over,” she was pleased to note that he had at least dropped his voice to an audible whisper.

 

“Now, who’s a good door?” Gina cooed, footsteps echoing hollowly around the vaulted stone walls. “Who’s a nice, clever door who’s gonna open up for Auntie Gina? Hmmmm?”

 

It wasn’t until she was standing six feet away that she bolted, practically launching herself at the handle before it had a chance to recede. As she’d anticipated, her slow approach had lulled the tricky door into a false sense of security. She swung it open and dove inside, jamming her foot in the door before it had a chance to shut behind her.

 

“Ha!” she crowed triumphantly. Her celebration was cut short, however, when she looked up and realised that instead of the drinks bar and the glorious free Wi-Fi sign, she was faced with a room considerably smaller and home to more cleaning equipment than she remembered.

 

“Aw, come on!” she whined, struggling to her feet and planting her hands on her hips. “A broom closet, seriously? I’ve been tracking you all month and _this_ is how you repay me?”

 

The room remained silent, as rooms are wont to do. The only sound was Jake’s panting breaths as he skidded to a stop beside the door, grin faltering as he caught his first sight of the ratty brooms stacked against the wall. “Wow, budget cuts really hit this place hard, huh?”

 

She crossed her arms, tossing her hair fluidly over her shoulder. This insult simply would not stand. “Give us a moment, Pineapples,” she said, casting her eyes about the small room as if searching for a chink in the armour. “I think the room and I need to have a talk.”

 

He opened his mouth, probably to point out exactly how ridiculous that sentence was, before remembering that that’s what their life was now and backing out of the room with a shrug. Gina turned back to the room at large, eyes narrowed.

 

“Okay, room,” she began, planting her hands on her hips. “I don’t like you and you don’t like me. But you’ve got something I need. And I’m not the only one. I looked you up, apparently you’re supposed to come out for people in need- so tell me, are you a room of your word? Because I know a whole mess o’ muggleborn kids in this castle who could really use the comfort of a face-time with their moms or dogs or whatever right now. And if you want my opinion- which of course you do, I mean, who doesn’t?- it’s your solemn duty as the only tech-proof room in this entire stinking castle to provide them with that chance. So what d’you say? You open up your doors, let us piggyback off of your Wi-Fi and catch up with the 21st century in here, and in return I’ll… I dunno, what the heck can I offer a _room_? I’ll make sure no one sticks their gum under your tables?”

 

The room remained unchanged. Her eyes narrowed further.

 

“ _And,_ ” she added, raising her chin. “I’ll bring in some scented candles. Pumpkin Spice, Vanilla Essence, you name the fragrance and I’ll get the goods.”

 

More silence. She sighed, dropping her arms. “Okay, you drive a hard bargain. Look, just ‘cause I’m feeling _generous,_ I’ll throw in a monthly dust and my wolf blanket. Do we have a deal?”

 

The ground beneath her feet trembled slightly, the dusty stone turning to polished wood panelling, the walls at her sides widening, stretching the room to twice, three, four times its original size. A familiar bar popped out from the far wall, minimalist paintings and over-stylised tables sprouted at intervals along the walls and floor like pretentious daisies, complete with stools and beanbags in matching colours. Finally a handful of ceiling lamps dropped into view, round green lampshades casting the newly revealed café in a comfortably dim glow, glinting off the laminated sign bearing the four most beautiful words in the English language: _‘Free Wi-Fi Available Here!!!’_

 

Gina grinned, patting the nearest artistically mottled table top fondly. “That’s the spirit,” she brought out her phone, grinning at the crackle-free screen and snapping a quick selfie in front of the sign. “Jake! You can come in now!”

 

The door swung open, and Jake’s mouth dropped open at the gloriously muggle-ish sight that greeted him. “No. _Way._ ”

 

“Yes, way,” Gina smirked, checking her connection and noting with satisfaction that it was not only functional but fast as well. “This is it, kiddo. All the wonders of the modern world, without ever having to leave your big ol’ magic castle. How long d’you think I can get money out of people for letting them in here before Holt catches on?”

 

Jake put his hands on his hips, frowning. “Gina! That was not the point of this!”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, _fine,_ I guess we’ll let them in for free,” her grin was back within seconds. “But drinks and snacks cost extra.”

 

“Fair enough,” he shrugged, doing a slow sweep around the room and all its modern delights. “Man… sure wish the others could have been here for this. Where is Amy, anyway?”

 

“With Holt- doing extra credit in her lunch break. Figures.”

 

Jake frowned. “Hey, weren’t you supposed to be doing that, too?”

 

She didn’t dignify that with an answer. Clearly, this was a more important and effective use of her free time than filing incident reports and sucking up to Holt. She’d leave all that nerd crap to Amy.

 

Jake sighed, but didn’t push. “Okay, what about Rosa? What’s she doing today?”

 

“Quidditch try-outs,” Rosa said, smiling. “I’ll bet she’s spilled some blood by now.”

 

“Yeah, if she isn’t unconscious in a ditch herself,” Jake said, without conviction.

 

“Yeah,” Gina snorted, checking Google for ‘Quidditch injury lawsuits’ just in case Rosa found herself with a particularly grumpy rival in the near future. “Like that’s gonna happen.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Diaz! On your left!”

 

Rosa didn’t need the warning. She swerved, bludger flying harmlessly over her shoulder and colliding with the broom of a third year hopeful, sending them careening wildly off course, bat flying from their hand. Rosa paid them no heed, cutting through the air like a dart on her broom in pursuit of the other bludger she’d seen clip the ref’s broom a few seconds ago. She had other plans for that little ball of death. Plans involving a well-timed swing of her bat, and that smug seeker-wannabe’s ribs.

 

Just then the whistle blew, and she groaned. So damn close. But she’d had enough warnings by now to know that she probably shouldn’t try and get in one last swing before going back to earth. She reluctantly turned in mid-air, gazing wistfully out of the corner of her eye at the bludger as it soared away, pursued by a lanky prefect on a broom with a heavy wooden box balanced on his knee.

 

She swept low to the ground and alighted the broom, boots stomping heavily on the soggy earth. She was too pissed off to be gentle with the grass.

 

“Alright, nice job, guys,” the team captain- an unremarkable fourth year whose name Rosa hadn’t bothered memorising- said. “Good flying. We’ll be in touch- the new team line up will be announced next week, so… yeah. That’s it. Until then, have a good weekend!”

 

Rosa rolled her eyes. She didn’t come here for pleasantries. She turned on her heel, boots squelching in the mud as she made her way off the pitch to change, in a foul mood- somehow no flying session ever lasted long enough.

 

“Hey! Diaz!”

 

She turned her head. Same kid as before, the one who warned her (unnecessarily) of the encroaching bludger. Dark skin, darker hair, cropped close to his head. She recognised him from the Gryffindor table- he didn’t look old, though. Probably a third year, since she hadn’t seen him in class. She didn’t reply, but she did elect to remain still and allow him to catch up. He jogged up, all smiles. She might have been annoyed, but they looked quite good on him. “Hey, just wanted to say nice flying out there today! Guess you didn’t really need my help, huh?”

 

Rosa nodded sharply. _Damn right,_ she thought, but didn’t vocalise it. He’d acknowledged his own inconsequential input, she didn’t need to.

 

“So, uh, good luck I guess,” he said, grinning. “Not that you need it- with flying like that, Eddie would have to be an idiot not to put you on the team.”

 

She frowned. “Eddie?”

 

“Eddie? Eddie Fung? Team captain Eddie Fung,” he elaborated, shrugging. “Surprised you don’t know his name- he doesn’t like to let people forget it.”

 

“Oh, him,” she said, not in the least bit apologetic. She would call him his name when he’d earned it.

 

“So,” he said, still smiling- how was he keeping that up for so long? “Guess I'll see you next week. I know no decisions have been made yet but,” he shrugged again, swinging his broom up onto his shoulder. “I like our chances. See ya!”

 

“Yeah,” she mumbled, slightly bewildered. He hadn't cowered once this entire conversation. “See you, uh…”

 

“Marcus,” he smiled, holding out his hand. To his credit, he didn't look offended when she made no move to shake it.

 

“Whatever,” Rosa said flatly. This conversation was lasting too long and she wasn't entirely sure how to handle it, especially with his smile disarming her. Best just to extract herself from the situation. “Bye,” she said, not waiting for him to reply. She was already off across the muddy pitch, battered old broom clutched at her side.

 

“Later, Diaz!” He called out after her. She quickened her pace and didn’t look back.

 

But despite her best efforts, she couldn't get the image of his smile out of her head the entire walk back to the Gryffindor tower.

 

* * *

 

 

**December**

 

Amy put her pen down with a satisfied sigh, stretching her hands out in front of her and splaying her fingers. Gotta do her exercises, keep her hands from cramping. Five seconds stretched up, five seconds clenched, five seconds stretched down, rinse and repeat. Who knew where she’d be without her hand exercises- she definitely couldn’t have revolutionised her primary school’s filing system without them. Life was too short to let stupid cramps get in the way of her work.

 

Limbered up and psyched for the next round, she turned her head to the waiting pile of parchment. As it turned out, being the principal ( _headmaster,_ she corrected herself) of a magic school incurred a significant amount of paperwork. Holt had said that most of the school’s former headmasters had relied heavily on magic for this sort of thing, but he preferred to do it the ‘old-fashioned’ way. He’d then gone on to talk for about fifteen minutes about elitism in the wizarding community, and his distaste for the way many a magic user allowed more commonplace skills to fall out of practice by the wayside in their arrogance. Amy had made a mental note to actually start listening to Jake when he talked about how muggles did stuff, however obsolete. It was clearly a topic of great importance to Holt, and therefore one she planned on researching extensively.

 

She frowned as she reached for the waiting stack of incident reports (a hefty pile, thanks to the third years’ misadventures in brewing Confusing Concoction), realising that they were not in fact on her desk but the one opposite. The desk which, most nights, was occupied by a very bored and disrespectful Gina. Today, however, her sort-of friend was nowhere to be seen. She was always late, but this must have been some kind of record.

 

Amy picked up the stack anyway. Gina clearly wasn’t coming. No way was she spending the rest of her voluntary hour in Holt’s office with a stack of unfinished paperwork staring her in the face.

 

* * *

 

 

The hallways were almost empty by the time Amy finished up her work, save the odd gaggle of friends heading outside for a snowball fight before curfew. She wrapped her robes tightly against her body, shuddering in the wintry chill of the air. Hogwarts sure was atmospheric, but ancient stone walls and arched windows did not provide adequate insulation. She walked briskly, envying the Hufflepuffs and their cosy common room by the kitchens. She briefly wondered if listening to Charles talking about all the different ways to cook paella would be a worthwhile sacrifice for an hour in the warmth.

 

She was so used to the silence in the halls that the small trickle of noise from an adjacent corridor was enough to catch her attention. She cocked her head curiously, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she set off walking in the direction of the sound. The babble of voices grew louder, the occasional clinking of glasses poking through.

 

She rounded a corner and came face to face with a door she didn’t recognise. Which was _ridiculous,_ because she took a re-orientation walking tour of the castle every month, so unless she’d actually somehow managed to miss this one corridor every single time…

 

“Hey, trucker hat! Quit hogging the bandwidth!”

 

Now, _there_ was a familiar voice. Amy narrowed her eyes, advancing on the door. It was open a crack, warm golden light bleeding into the bleak hallway. She tentatively nudged it open wider, just enough to get a glimpse of the interior, and almost did a double-take.

 

“Here’s an idea,” Gina continued, from where she stood atop a very un-Hogwarts-y green wooden table, holding an iPhone (yes, she knew what that was) out of reach of a tall kid with an ugly hat and grabby hands. “How ‘bout downloading your movies when I don’t have a very important Buzzfeed quiz to fill out? I was about to find out which Spice Girl is my spirit animal!”

 

The rest of the scene didn’t make any more sense. They were standing in what looked like one of those muggle coffee houses that she and her brothers used to go to for a sneaky hot cocoa while her mom was busy across town. There was a bar with tall glasses and countless syrup bottles and jugs full of weird-coloured beverages. The rest of the place was all artsy and earthy-coloured and full of weird lamps and paintings of wolves, somehow both embarrassingly hipster and bleakly mainstream. Actually, it wasn’t far off how she first imagined the inside of Gina’s head would look. But unless Gina had found some way to literally superimpose her mindscape onto reality, it was the kind of place that really had no business being in Hogwarts.

 

Amy pushed the door fully open, planting her feet and crossing her arms. “What’s going on?” she demanded, trying not to let her voice shake as every eye in the room turned on her. She wished she’d thought this through better- she hadn’t noticed with her attention fixed on Gina but there were about fifty people crammed into the small space, including Rosa and- “Jake!” she squeaked indignantly as she caught sight of her best friend tipping Bertie Bott’s beans into a neon green milkshake.

 

He winced guiltily, spilling some beans across the counter. “Hey, Ames,” he said awkwardly. After a moment’s hesitation he pointed at Gina. “It’s her fault- she told me not to tell you!”

 

“Peralta, you damn _snitch_ ,” Gina whined, chucking a chocolate frog wrapper at his head.

 

“Tell me what- what _is_ all this?” Amy demanded, more confused by the minute.

 

“It’s this weird disappearing milkshake bar Gina found last year,” Rosa explained, clothes and hair still muddy from Quidditch practice, voice flat as usual and completely indifferent to Gina’s complaints. “We all come here for Wi-Fi.”

 

“It’s name is Babylon, and it deserves your respect,” Gina said, arms crossed and nose in the air. “So help me, young lady, I will _bar_ you! Don’t try me, Diaz.”

 

Rosa glared, and Gina paid her no mind. Had anyone else spoken to Rosa that way they’d be on the floor with a broken nose by now, but somehow Gina always seemed to get away with it. Amy thought it was pretty unfair- the manipulative goblin already had too much power. Amy let them have their little back and forth for now, going over things she’d read about disappearing milkshake bars in _Hogwarts: A History_ and coming up with nothing. After a minute, though, a candidate presented itself. “The Room of Requirement!” she blurted, startling the two queen bees out of their glaring match.

 

“The what of what, now?” Jake asked, bemused, picking a flyaway bean out of his hair (and eating it, but she pretended not to see that).

 

“The Room of Requirement!” she repeated excitedly, bouncing on her heels. “I’ve read about it- it only appears when someone really needs it, and never in the same place twice! It can be whatever you need it to be!”

 

“Okay, once again, it’s name is _Babylon,_ ” Gina said firmly, sounding thoroughly unsurprised and unimpressed with Amy’s proclamation. “And I paid good money to keep it ticking over with free Wi-Fi, so how bout you shut the damn door before Holt hears you and storms the gates?”

 

Amy stared at her. “You’re gonna keep using it for… _this?_ ” she asked, incredulous. “This room is older than all of us put together, it’s a vein of almost infinite ancient magical power, and you’re gonna  use it to… for- for _memes?!_ ”

 

Gina cocked her head. “Problem, Boo?” she said sweetly.

 

Amy’s mouth flopped open and shut like a fish for a moment.

 

Then, before Gina or Rosa could pounce, she turned tail and ran.

 

* * *

 

 

“Amy, hold up a minute!”

 

Amy groaned, but slowed down. Jake was annoying, but basically harmless. At least she didn’t have Rosa on her tail. “Don’t try and change my mind, Jake- that room has been a focal point of Hogwarts history, it’s not meant to be a-”

 

“Ames, can you stop and look at me a moment? Please?”

 

She sighed and stopped, turning to face him and pushing her glasses back up into place.

 

Jake looked ruffled from the short run, his curly hair in disarray. He pushed up the too-long sleeves of his robes to rub his hands together awkwardly, and she thought she caught a glimpse of fear in his eyes. But that didn’t make any sense- why would he be getting in such a state over a coffee shop, of all things?

 

“Look, I know it’s kind of a foreign concept to you,” he said. Not a great start to a sentence, but he didn’t sound judgemental. “I get it, you’ve communicated with owls and teleporting and all that Star Trek stuff since you were, like, a baby. But for me, and all those other kids in there, well…” he gulps. “This is the longest we’ve ever been away from home. And we can’t just pop back whenever we want. No magic outside school, and all that. And our parents can’t exactly visit us here. I know the whole social media thing may seem a bit obsolete to you, but… it’s kind of the best we’ve got.”

 

Amy felt her cheeks reddening a little. It wasn’t like Jake to be this vulnerable. She almost wanted him to start talking in his ridiculous German accent to undercut the solemn tone.

 

He stepped forward, sliding his phone from the sleeve of his robe and holding it out to her. She took it tentatively, and looked down at the screen that was already beginning to crackle from the current of magic in the air.

 

**Glad your friend Rosa made the team! Tell her to take care of herself- you should bring her and your other friends over in the summer sometime! <3 Love you, Pumpkin xxx**

 

Amy gulped. “Your mom?”

 

He nodded. “Yeah. Since Gina found that room… it’s the first time I’ve been able to talk to her like there isn’t an entire ocean and two time zones between us. We’ve been IM-ing non-stop since we found the place. Makes the distance more bearable, y’know?”

 

Amy nodded, and she felt tears prickling her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, handing back his phone and trying to discreetly wipe her eyes on her sleeve. “I didn’t think of it like that.”

 

“Hey, it’s fine,” he said, big mouth turned up in a kind smile. “No reason you should have.”

 

She nodded and sniffed, fumbling with her sleeve. “I won’t tell Holt,” she said quietly, shuffling her feet. It felt wrong to even _say_ those words.

 

“Thanks, Ames,” he smiled, reaching out and catching an arm round her shoulders, pulling her tight into one of his awkward half-hugs. “I mean, Holt’s not a bad guy, he’d probably understand, but… I think it’s pretty important to Gina that we just keep this between us. And I really _did_ want to tell you, honestly.”

 

“It’s okay,” she said. “Guess I kinda just proved Gina right. I almost ratted you guys out.”

 

“Well, yeah, but…” he shrugged. “I don’t think you would have if we’d just told you like normal people”

 

She laughed, sniffling a little on the second bout. “Yeah, maybe.”

 

He grinned at her and started walking, carrying her along with him. “Come hang with us a while- guessing you’ve never watched YouTube videos?”

 

She shook her head, and he took her hand and bounded along faster. “Oh, my gosh, I have got _so_ many funny cat compilation vids to show you!”

 

He laughed, and she laughed, too.

 

She held his hand all the way back. And then a little longer.

 

If he hadn’t scared her with a video of a screaming goat, she might have forgotten to let go altogether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had fun! Try not to keep you waiting as long next time xD Feedback is, as always, much appreciated!
> 
> P.S. Amy probably pronounces 'memes' as 'may-mays'. She has lived a very sheltered life, bless her.


	7. Love Is In The Air (And So Are The Croutons)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's been a pretty long time, huh?
> 
> Sorry, dudes- been having a tough time writing lately! Promise I will update this whenever I can though- and maybe it'll get easier to write now since year three's where more interesting stuff starts to happen ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

**February**

 

“...But despite our best academic guesses, to this day nothing definitive is known about what topics were discussed or decisions made at the Convention of 1289,” Professor Cozner finished with a sweep of his chalk across the board, neatly underlining a date. “Unlike the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, which of course outlawed the artificial breeding of dragons. But that is a discussion for another time. I trust you are all comfortable with your assignments for this week?”

 

He was greeted by a chorus of nods, sighs, coughs and the occasional groan. “Three feet by next Thursday, if you please. And remember, the subject is the Medieval Assembly of European Wizards, and what I’m looking for is a coherent summary of the _facts_. Please, if you have speculations on the Warlocks’ Convention that are not grounded in fact, save them for debate team. Dismissed.”

 

Jake let out another long-suffering groan, slouching so much he almost fell off his chair. Amy prodded his shoulder with her quill as she packed up her parchments and textbooks, smirking at his feeble attempts to bat her away. “Quit whining. It’s only three feet!”

 

“What kind of sick, twisted school system measures its assignments in _feet?_ ” Jake complained, watching unhappily as the waiting roll of empty parchment on his desk rolled onto the floor and away, unfurling as it went. “Uh. Like the world’s smallest, boring-est red carpet...”

 

“It’s really not all that different to muggle schools, Jake,” she shrugged, thinking back to their conversations about his old world and grade school. “It’s probably about the same as three pages. And that’s only single-sided! That’s nothing!”

 

He glared at her, half-heartedly dragging the parchment back with his foot. “Easy for you to say, you love homework. You wanna marry it and have the world’s most boring babies. And then they’ll grow up and have babies with dictionaries and chemistry textbooks and stuff, and on and on it goes until your stupid fact-babies are everywhere, boring the world with the infinite knowledge from their musty, fleshy pages.”

 

She wrinkled her nose, enormous glasses wobbling. “I’m not sure how to respond to that.”

 

“Good, I’m too tired for banter,” Jake groaned, dragging himself upright and stuffing his quills and parchments back into his sleeve.

 

“Jake, just borrow one of my pencil cases already,” Amy said, eyeing the display with horror.

 

He winced. “Ames, never let Gina know you have two pencil cases.”

 

“What? No, you can’t have one of these!” she said, offended. She hadn’t colour coded her pens to let him Jake up the insides with doughnut dust and chewing gum. “I meant my backup cases.”

 

He blinked. “...How many of those do you have?”

 

“Three,” she said.

 

“...Yeah, keep that to yourself too.”

 

“Look, don't worry about the essay,” she said. “I'm not doing your homework for you, but I _will_ spell and grammar check when you're done.”

 

“But Ameeeeeees,” he said, looping an arm round her shoulders. “You're so much better at this stuff than me. You're so good at _planning_ and _writing_ and being _smart_ \- don't you want a good chance to flex that big old brain of yours? I mean really, is just one essay enough to display your _verbal prowess?”_

 

“Forget it, Jake, I'm not doing your homework,” she blushed. “...Again.”

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Santiago,” Jake said. “Okay, how about this- you help me draft my essay, and I'll help you nail that transfiguration that's been bugging you.”

 

“What? How did you-?”

 

“You've been doing the motions and cussing every break for the last week,” he said smugly. “I keep telling you, Ames- you're way too stiff! Loosely goosey, gurl!”

 

Amy rolled her eyes, a thinly veiled smile teasing at her lips. She was going to take him up on his offer and he knew it. But she had her pride, and she wouldn't go down easy. “Okay, but an entire essay draft is worth that and then some. How about, say… your Helga Hufflepuff card?”

 

“What? No! I'm only a Slytherin away from having all the founders!” He protested. “Do you know how many chocolate frogs I had to eat? How many sugar crashes I've endured?!”

 

“Alright, fine, your Bridget Wenlock card, then,” she compromised. “Plus you have to buy me butterbeer next year when we go to Hogsmeade.”

 

“Argh, fine, done,” he agreed, reaching out for a handshake. “But just the first glass!”

 

“Deal,” she smiled, returning the gesture and only slightly wincing when his sticky palm touched hers. Clearly he'd been snacking during classes again.

 

“Sweet!” he grinned, defeated slump gone from his shoulders. “My common room, tonight- no way we’re working in that gross cellar you guys live in.”

 

“It’s not a cellar!” Amy protested, blushing. “Technically. It’s a dungeon. A dungeon’s not a cellar.”

 

“Riiiiiiiiiiiight,” Jake said.

 

And with little more than a grin and a _very_ overly exaggerated wink, he was gone.

 

Amy sighed. She didn’t know why she kept letting this happen. Here she was, with at least three term papers due on Wednesday, and she was roped into another all-night study session with Jake Funyuns-Are-A-Food-Group Peralta.

 

She probably shouldn’t be as happy about the idea as she was.

 

* * *

 

**March**

 

“Elbows in, Diaz!”

 

Rosa rolled her eyes, but complied all the same. Professor Jeffords knew what he was talking about, and she had a _team_ to work for, now. Or she would have next year, when the current seventh year beater was gone. Like Hell she was gonna let herself be the weakest link.

 

“So commanding,” Gina cooed, eyeing up the quidditch instructor appreciatively. Jeffords pretty much tuned her out- he’d become awfully practiced at that over the last two years. Instead he picked up another practise bludger (the ones that were a little less deadly and vindictive than the norm) and hurled it with all his considerable strength into the sky.

 

Rosa swooped after it without a second’s hesitation, eyes narrowed behind her goggles, bat clenched purposefully in hand. One swift, harsh whack to the side had the ball hurtling through the air, across the pitch, and slamming with thunderous force into one of the wooden targets floating at intervals around her.

 

“ _Damn,_ Rosa!” Jeffords yelled, eyes wide. They went even wider when he realised what he’d said. “Uh, I mean, _dang._ Darn. Something like that,” he glanced at Gina with a wince. “I am getting better, right?”

 

“Oh, definitely,” Gina agreed. “But I still think you’re trying too hard- what you do isn’t even _swearing._ I mean, who _hasn’t_ heard the word ‘damn’? That thing sits at the kiddie table of swearwords. It’s nowhere near as bad as fu-””

 

“Well, my babies sure haven’t!” Jeffords cut her off, glowering. “And you better wash out your mouth with soap before you meet my girls. They’re at a very impressionable age.”

 

“They’re three months old, Ter-Bear.”

 

“Well, I’m not taking any chances,” he sniffed. “For all you know they might be twin geniuses. They might already be learning to speak right under our noses, assimilating our language like alien spies. Tiny, adorable spies.”

 

“Ooo-kay,” Gina shrugged, propping her feet on a nearby kit box. “But you can’t protect ‘em forever, Mama Jeffords.”

 

Professor Jeffords frowned. “Don’t remind me.”

 

Rosa swooped in low, pushing her goggles down around her neck. “Call that a throw?” she taunted, leaning back nonchalantly on her broomstick “Should I go ahead and blindfold myself right now? Make this a challenge.”

 

Suitably distracted, Jeffords’ eyes narrowed. “Oh, you are _on,_ Diaz!” he vowed, brandishing another practice bludger confidently. “This baby’s gonna break the sound-barrier!”

 

“Good luck, Professor!” another voice yelled from nearby. The trio looked over the see Marcus, hovering apart from the other other players he’d been practising with, easy grin still in place. “Never seen a bludger our girl Diaz can’t knock right outta the park!”

 

Gina snorted. The poor sucker really didn’t know what he was getting into, trying to flatter _Rosa_ of all people. But then she noticed that the girl in question hadn’t actually shot him down yet. She glanced at her, expecting a storm in her expression. It wasn’t unheard of for Rosa to literally be rendered speechless in anger.

 

But there was no glare, no scowl, not even a blank mask of indifference. In fact, her best friend almost looked… _pleased._

 

“Ho- _ly_ Moses,” Gina said, gobsmacked. “You _like_ him!”

 

Oh, the scowl was back in full force now. “Shut up, Gina.”

 

But Gina’s grin would not be quelled. “You have _emotions._ And _squishy, gooey romantic feels!_ Oh, no- Rosa, you’re _human!”_

 

Rosa’s glare could have killed any lesser being stone dead. Not Gina, though. Gina just bounced up and down excitedly, clapping her perfectly manicured hands together. “Oh, God, I have to go tell Jake right this second- _Rosa likes a BOY!”_

 

Rosa was all up in her face before Gina could even blink. “You say a word and they’ll be dredging you out of the lake for weeks.”

 

“Diaz!” Jeffords snapped, wide-eyed.

 

“Shhh, my baby,” Gina whispered, pressing a finger fearlessly to Rosa’s scowling lips. “Your rage only fuels me. There’s no need for anger, my sweet summer child- _embrace_ those squishy feelings. It’s time to face the truth, my dear, dear friend: You. Are. In. _Luuuuuuurrrrr-”_

 

Rosa clamped a hand over Gina’s mouth forcefully. “Shut. Up.”

 

Gina’s eyes still twinkled with humour, her smile still smug beneath Rosa’s palm. But she raised her hands in surrender all the same. Nothing good could come of unleashing Rosa, angry and unpacified, back on the school. Well, nothing good for other people. She was pretty confident in her own immunity by now.

 

When Rosa finally released her hold, Gina mimed zipping her lips. Rosa watched her like a hawk all the way back to her broom, unblinking, unwavering, right up until the moment she was back in the air.

 

Professor Jeffords looked at Gina with something between awe and sheer terror. “That was… intense. _Damn.”_

 

“Don’t you mean ‘darn’, Professor?” Gina asked sweetly, putting her feet back up.

 

“Hell no- that ‘damn’ was justified!”

 

Gina chuckled, watching Rosa carve elegant but brutal figure-eights in the sky above their heads. She glanced over at the the opposite side of the pitch where the others practised, and saw immediately that she wasn’t the only one with eyes only for Diaz.

 

She smirked at Marcus’ expression, all open adoration. Such innocence. “Good luck, my friend,” she said under her breath, Rosa’s glare still burning through her. “You’re gonna need it.”

 

* * *

 

**June**

 

“Charles!” Jake called for what seemed like the fiftieth time, hammering on the wall beside the many barrels stacked against it. “I forgot which barrel I’m supposed to tap! Is it the top right? Top left? Chaaaaaaaaaarles!”

 

The lid of the barrel halfway through the second row swung open, Charles’ head poking through. Jake nearly jumped out of his skin. His friend looked… _manic._ His normally carefully combed hair was sticking up at odd angles, his dark eyes wide and wild, the long yellow house scarf he refused to take off (“I have medically diagnosed thin skin, Jake!”) tied around his head Rambo-style.

 

“Uh… Hey, there, buddy,” Jake said carefully, squinting. Was that _war paint_ on his cheeks?

 

“Jake! Perfect timing!” Charles enthused, crawling out through the secret entrance and slumping unceremoniously to the floor. “We’re drowning in there!”

 

“Woah, Charles, what’s going on?” Jake demanded, eyes widening as Charles reached back into the secret entrance and pulled out an old broom with a heavy cauldron suspended from the end by a length of twine.

 

“Gotta get back- we’re losing ground!” Charles said unhelpfully, swinging the cauldron stick over his shoulder and grabbing Jake’s hand. “To the kitchens!”

 

“Woah, woah, Charles!” Jake planted his feet, forcing them to a stop and making a very firm ‘time-out’ gesture with his hands. “How about starting at the beginning?”

 

Charles blinked, and then facepalmed. “Of course. Of course, news hasn’t travelled- I’m losing track of time, it feels like this war’s lasted forever, I guess I just assumed everyone else knew by now!”

 

“ _War?!_ ” Jake exclaimed, eyebrows flying up. He could safely say he didn’t see that coming.

 

“In the kitchens!” Charles confirmed, nodding so rapidly his headscarf almost whipped Jake across the face. “We’re under siege! The end of year feast is in peril!”

 

“From who?!”

 

“Two of ‘em,” Charles explained hurriedly. “A huuuuuuge ghoul with bad breath, and his ghostly buddy- you’ve seen them around, Jake, you know the ones! Big, mean, lurking… meany lurkers!

 

Jake groaned. “Charles, are you telling me that Scully and Hitchcock are back on the rampage?”

 

Everyone knew the tale of Professor Hitchcock. His short career as a mediocre Hogwarts professor came to an abrupt end one night when he staggered drunk off the bridge. In the end those two extra pints at the Three Broomsticks had been his literal downfall. Shortly afterwards his ghostly self found a new best friend in the hulking ghoul pillaging the groundskeeper’s pumpkin patches. They were quite a pair- rude, stupid and _super_ gross. But ever since a stern warning from Headmaster Holt a few years ago, they’d been mostly harmless.

 

Clearly the truce was off.

 

“They’re eating _everything,_ Jake!” Charles moaned, distraught. “The falafel, the fondue, _all_ the hors d'oeuvres- the _croutons_ , Jake! The croutons are all gone!”

 

“But _why?”_ Jake groaned, breaking into a jog towards the kitchens. “Hitchcock’s a ghost, he can’t even eat things!”

 

“Well, he’s darn well trying!” Charles huffed, struggling to keep up with Jake’s long strides. “Anything he can’t eat he’s throwing on the floor, and his buddy’s guzzling the rest! They’re destroying the feast, Jake- mouthful by succulent mouthful!”

 

“What have we said about you saying succulent?”

 

“Sorry, I’m stressed!”

 

“That’s okay, we’ll let it slide this time- to the kitchens!”

 

* * *

 

 

Jake never would have imagined that a battle between a clumsy ghost, a chubby ghoul and the entire Hufflepuff house could be described as _epic._ But somehow, that’s exactly what it was.

 

All it took was a pot of spilled gazpacho soup to send Boyle berserk. The cauldron on a string was quickly explained when the little guy started swinging it round his head like a mace, clouting the rampaging ghoul in the side and sending him flying. Several other Hufflepuffs took a similar tack, warding off the beast with makeshift kitchen weapons, while others hefted the house elf chefs onto their shoulders to get them away from the carnage (or in some cases, charge into battle while the elf on their back yodelled and held out barbecue forks like lances).

 

Hitchcock the ghost was harder to take down- ghosts being the slippery non-body-having bastards they are. But in the end all it really took to scare him off was the full and unquestionable defeat of his wing-ghoul.

 

By the time Headmaster Holt burst into the kitchens, the entire faculty at his heels with wands at the ready, the bandits had already scarpered, leaving a kitchen full of food spills and carnage, and a buttload of victorious Hufflepuffs high-fiving the elf cooks.

 

Thanks to the brave efforts of the Hufflepuff house (although Jake _did_ help out a lot, not to toot his own horn but whatever), and the selfless sacrifice of many clean clothes and innocent items of crockery, the feast was safe.

 

This time.

 

* * *

 

**End of Term**

 

“Gotta hand it to the house elves,” Charles babbled, eyes bright. “They thrive under pressure. Those last minute croutons? _Divine.”_

 

“Yeah. So glad I got to see you chewing those things up,” Jake deadpanned. Charles did not appear to spot the sarcasm, diving right back into his passionate ramblings on the final spread.

 

Gina rolled her eyes, but she had to admit she agreed with Charles (shudder). Those elves could _cook._ You never would have guessed they’d been attacked by the two grossest creatures on God’s green Earth three hours before the feast. Man, was Rosa bummed about missing out on that fight. Even now her angry BFF was aggressively kicking the side of the Hogwarts Express. But if you’re gonna make a magical train that automatically un-dents itself, what d’you expect?

 

“Ah, Santiago!” Jake sang out, draping his arm across the pouting girl’s shoulders. “Looks like we’re at a draw, who’d have thought?”

 

“You got lucky,” she huffed, shrugging him off. “Slytherin’s gonna kick your stupid butt next year.”

 

“Ooh, touchy!” Jake grinned, automatically reaching out for her bag even as he bragged. Mama Peralta sure did a good job training that boy in the art of chivalry. Of course, Gina deserved some credit for that. She raised her boy right, damn it.

 

“Well, enjoy it while it lasts, Peralta,” Amy said. “We take elective subjects next year. I’m gonna take _sooo_ many classes. I’ll get so many house points they may as well forget Slytherin and just put _my_ name on the cup! I’m gonna take as many subjects as humanly possible and then some, and come top of the class in all of ‘em, and _then_ we’ll see which house reigns supreme!”

 

“Not Care of Magical Creatures, though,” Jake smirked. “There can only be one true king of the beasts!”

 

“Hey, I have _allergies,_ ” she said, stomping her foot.

 

“So do I, you don’t see me cowering!”

 

“You’re allergic to _bees,_ Jake.”

 

“And wasps!” Charles added.

 

“Thank you, Charles!” Jake said.

 

“My point is what are the odds of one of the creatures being a giant _bee?_ ”

 

“...Or wasp.”

 

“Thank you, Charles.”

 

“And you’re only allergic to the stings,” Amy said, cheeks flushed bright pink. The lil nerd sure was getting fired up. “Canine hair makes my throat close up- if I come within a hundred yards of a crup I could _die.”_

 

“Honey, stop it, you’re giving me ideas,” Gina chimed in. She was mostly joking- she wasn’t in the business of putting down innocent geeks. But she noted with satisfaction that Amy looked ever so slightly afraid. Good. As it should be.

 

“Excuses, excuses, Santiago,” Jake said, swiftly replacing her fear with familiar irritation. “Just face the facts- allergies or no allergies, there is only _one_ king of the jungle.”

 

The bickering continued long after the both of them got on the train, their voices floating back through the open door. Gina rolled her eyes. “ _Damn._ Check out the heart-eyes emoji on their little faces. When are those dweebs gonna do something about the _flirting_ already, right Rosa?” she turned round with a grin.

 

Rosa wasn’t paying attention. She was a little too busy standing in uncomfortable (but notably non-aggressive) silence while Marcus said his goodbyes.

 

“Hey, Diaz!” Gina snapped, clicking her fingers loudly.

 

Rosa finally pulled herself away from Marcus with a parting… _smile?!_ An actual tiny smile on Rosa Diaz’s actual face. As. If.

 

Rosa saw her staring and… _blushed._ Freaking. Blushed. Goddamn. That lil’ quidditch boy was in with a better chance than she’d thought. “Shut up,” Rosa grunted, not looking her in the eye.

 

Gina watched her disappear onto the train with wonder, curiosity, and a twinge in her gut that a less evolved being might attribute to… jealousy.

  
Slanty face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, not 100% on the last line, but when I pictured Gina's emotions at the possibility of maybe having jealous romantical feelings for her bestie all I could picture was... :/
> 
> So, that's it for year two- hope you don't mind it was a long time period crammed into a short chapter, but tbh I'm eager to get to third year, it's where the good shit starts happening! ^_^
> 
> Also I wanted to go into a lot more detail on the battle but I was getting carried away, so one of these days I'll probably add a few extra mini stories to this universe, one of which will be the battle! (may also have some side-stories bout the professors and ghosts and things idk)
> 
> Hope you had fun- feedback as always is much appreciated! Hopefully I'll get the next chapter out this side of Christmas xD
> 
> Til next time! X


	8. Heart-To-Hearts & Herb-Infused Horoscopes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand into third year!
> 
> Okay this one's pretty short, but contains plenty of pining Gina and some Amy/Rosa bonding so I hope you'll forgive me!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Extra points if you spot the Coraline reference!)

**September**

 

“So, Peralta, hope you’re ready to lose ‘cause this year’s gonna be a slam-dunk for Slyth- woah, are you okay?”

 

Jake groaned, not lifting his face from where he had it smooshed against the train window. Which, of course, meant Amy had to look to Gina for answers. Thanks, Pineapples. “Is he okay?”

 

Gina shrugged. “Kid’s got ninety-nine problems, at a bitch is at least eighty of ‘em,” she explained (a little unhelpfully, but she wasn’t about to spell it out for her).

 

“She’s not a bitch,” Jake mumbled against the glass weakly. “She’s just got standards… _four buttons…_ ”

 

“I’m still confused,” Amy murmured.

 

“Jakey put his big squishy heart on the line at his Bar Mitzvah, and got it popped like a cheap Walmart balloon,” Gina snapped impatiently, shooting Amy a look that was fifty shades of _sit the frick down and shut the heck up._ Finally the little nerd got the hint, leaving Gina to dwell on more important matters than catching her up on the hot summer goss. Like deciding how to keep Jake’s aforementioned big squishy heart safe in future. And maybe, just maybe, how to keep her own strong and awesome heart safe, too.

 

She couldn’t help but notice the absence of a particular Miss Diaz in their compartment. She also couldn’t help noticing during a perfectly normal bathroom break (that may or may not have evolved into a casual exploration of the rest of the train), that Rosa was in fact on board. In another compartment. With the Quidditch team. Including Marcus. Who was laughing, and joking, and making Rosa… smile.

 

Which was fine.

 

“Amy!”

 

Gina glanced up at the newcomer. It took her precisely 0.03 seconds to decide the unassuming blonde kid hovering in the doorway making cow eyes at Amy wasn’t worth her consideration. Amy, on the other hand, beamed like she’d just been given three extra homework assignments and a hall monitor sash. “Teddy, hey!” she beamed, patting the seat next to her invitingly. “Teddy’s taking Arithmancy this year, too,” she said, enthusiastically answering the question no one asked.

 

Gina rolled her eyes, standing up just as Amy’s new buddy sat down. She wasn’t in the mood for observing awkward nerd courtship rituals. And if the way Jake mushed his face further into the glass was anything to go by, neither was he. “Come on, babe,” she grunted, grabbing his hand and yanking him out of his seat. “Let’s walk.”

 

To his credit, he followed her with only minimal complaining.

 

“Gina, where’re we going?” he whined, dragging his feet.

 

“Walking,” she shrugged. She didn’t release his hand. “Get a big ol’ lungful of that stale carriage air, clear your head.”

 

“What’s up with you?”

 

Gina set her jaw. “Nothing,” she said tightly.

 

Jake did not look convinced. She may have been able to read his toddler-like handwriting, but his big puppy eyes could read her damn _soul_ sometimes. But bless his big, squishy heart, he didn’t pester.

 

Didn’t stop him from inadvertently putting his foot slap bang in the crux of the matter when he asked; “Where’s Rosa?”

 

Gina pursed her lips. “With the quidditch team.”

 

Jake stiffened. “With _Fung._ ”

 

“Yup,” she said, popping the ‘p’ with a sense of resignation. “Among… others.”

 

Jake scowled. “I can’t believe that four-button Casanova goes to our school.”

 

“Small world,” Gina muttered, catching sight of the aforementioned four-button Casanova through a nearby compartment window. Along with another familiar face. Although not so familiar, given the nervous little smile stretched across it.

 

Evidently, Jake noticed too. “Woah… she looks different when she smiles, huh?”

 

Gina stubbornly turned her head from the sight, grip on Jake’s hand tightening as she yanked him onwards like a dog on a leash. “Come on. Candy lady’s gotta be round here somewhere. Mama needs chocolate.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Ready for our first lesson in muggle studies, G?” Jake asked, grinning.

 

“Heck to the yeah, boooooooooy,” she sang, high-fiving him.

 

“Why are you guys taking muggle studies?” Amy asked, genuinely bewildered. “You’re both from muggle families, what possible educational benefit could there be?”

 

Jake rolled his eyes. “Uh, it’s a _blow-off class,”_ he snorted.

 

“Obvs.,” Gina chimed in.

 

Amy did an honest to God double take. “We’re in _third year_ and you guys are taking _blow-off classes?_ ” she squeaked.

 

“Well,” Jake wrinkled his brow. “We couldn’t pick classes in second year, so…”

 

“Oh, God,” Amy whimpered. Jake's cavalier attitude towards his education was… upsetting, to say the least.

 

“Amy, I know how hard it is to be around me when I'm being a devilishly handsome bad boy, but please, keep it professional,” Jake smirked.

 

“Wha-?! That's not what I- argh!” Amy catapulted her least favourite pencil at his head, embarrassed by how much she was blushing.

 

“Aw, cool it, Pineapples,” Gina cooed in a blatant caricature of sympathy. “Poor Amy's just nervous ‘bout being in a class where we know more than her.”

 

“Am not! _Do_ not!” Amy said defensively as she ducked down to pick up the pencil from the floor. (She was pissed off, not a litterer). “I'll ace _every_ test, I'll do so well you guys’ll question your own upbringing!”

 

Jake and Gina both raised their hands in mock-surrender, giggling as Amy stormed ahead. “Aw. She's so cute when she's jealous,” she heard Gina stage-whisper.

 

She bit her lip and forged on.

 

 _It's just Gina,_ she told herself firmly. _She's just doing it to get a rise out of you._

 

It didn't help much. Of course Gina was doing it to wind her up. That's just who Gina was. She didn't think before she opened her big mouth, and she didn't much care who she hurt in the fallout. Most of her anger probably wasn't even directed at Amy personally.

 

Didn't make her barbs hurt any less.

 

* * *

 

 

After a fairly uneventful muggle studies class- in which Amy seemed oddly subdued, despite her earlier posturing- it was time for divination. Amy did not accompany them, as a sudden spike in popularity for the subject had led to the group being split into two classes. Jake suspected Gina’s little Babylon horoscope club to be the culprit.

 

They started the class, disappointingly enough, with reading tea leaves. I mean sure, future stuff was cool, but Jake had been hoping they'd be waving their hands at glowing crystal balls and stuff. He didn't even _like_ tea.

 

“Do I have to drink this?” He whined, swirling the gross pee-coloured stuff around in its cup.

 

“Yes,” their teacher- a snappy, sassy woman named Carlene- said firmly. “And there's gonna be a _lot_ more where that came from this year, so you better start developing a taste for it.”

 

Jake groaned and looked across the table to see Gina sighing happily as she plonked her now empty cup on the saucer. She caught his disbelieving look and rolled her eyes. “Some of us have _sophisticated_ pallets, savage.”

 

“I'm telling Charles you said that,” Jake threatened, brandishing his mug at her. “Hope you like blood sausage and cow intestines, he's gonna bring you a _crapload.”_

 

“Language, Peralta!” Carlene snapped, materialising at his side. “And drink up!”

 

Gina smirked as Carlene reached over her shoulder to peek into her cup. She was too busy frowning into it to notice Jake sneakily dunk the remains of his tea in a nearby plant pot. “Hmmm…. Interesting,” she murmured, handing the cup back to Gina. “Tell me, Linetti, what do you see?”

 

Gina barely had to glance at her cup to find the answer. “A wolf,” she smiled. “Hardly surprising- they _are_ my spiritual kin, after all. But how do they translate in tealeaf prophecy hoodoo?”

 

“Traditionally, they serve as a warning,” Carlene explained, squinting into the cup. “The wolf warns of forthcoming jealous intrigue, or perhaps hard-hearted treatment by a friend. This one doesn’t look quite like other wolves I’ve seen, though…”

 

Jake was a little too busy trying to decipher his own leaves (which were either a creepy hand or a wonky giraffe) to think about how troubled Gina looked by her reading.

 

* * *

 

 

“Never had you down as an animal person, Diaz,” Jake chirped, picking his way over a root jutting from the ground.

 

“I’m not.”

 

He frowned. “So why are you taking care of magical creatures?”

 

“I’ve always wanted to fight a unicorn.”

 

“... _Ooooooooo-_ kay.”

 

“Stay together, everyone!” Groundskeeper Boyle (now _Professor_ Boyle, as he was very keen to remind everyone) called over his shoulder. “And don’t go straying too far off to the right- it’s kinda swampy over there, and that Devil’s Snare is awful clingy!”

 

“What’s Devil’s Snare?” Jake asked, concerned.

 

“Can I fight it?” Rosa asked, less concerned.

 

“One _mean_ weed is what it is,” Professor Boyle answered. “And I sure wouldn’t recommend it kiddo- not unless you got a big ol’ weedwhacker to hand! No time to pick fights with the vegetation anyway, kids- we’re nearly there!”

 

“Ooh, where are we going?” Jake asked, bouncing up and down excitedly. “Are there dragons? Sharks?” He gasped. “ _Dragon-sharks?!”_

 

“That’s not a thing,” Rosa said.

 

“Come on Rosa, I let you have your unicorn-punching thing.”

 

“You think I couldn’t take one stupid unicorn?”

 

“They have _horns,_ Rosa!

 

“No, it’s not dragons, sharks, _or_ unicorns,” Lynne said, grinning. “But it is something _much_ more exciting!”

 

“What could be more exciting than _dragon-sharks_?” Jake demanded incredulously.

 

“Jake,” Rosa said, nodding at the professor. “This is Boyle’s dad talking.”

 

That took the wind from his sails. “Oh.”

 

“Well, here we are!” The professor beamed, brushing aside the undergrowth and stepping into… a cabbage patch.

 

Rosa frowned. “You grow _cabbages_ in the forbidden forest?”

 

“Just in this part,” Lynne answered, crouching down. “Keeps the population up!”

 

“Population of _what?”_ Jake asked, enthusiasm waning. Rosa could relate.

 

Lynne straightened up again, holding one of the brownest, slimiest things Rosa had ever seen in her life (and as a person with the frequent displeasure of watching Charles Boyle eat, that was saying something). “Flobberworms!” He beamed triumphantly, holding it out for the students to inspect. Everyone took a shuffling step back. “You’ll know these guys as the ones who produce the mucus you’ve used in potions class- and there’s plenty more where that came from!”

 

Jake was looking slightly green. Matters didn’t improve when Lynne stepped forward and draped the limp slug-like thing over his palm.

 

Rosa glared at it resentfully. “Lame. Doesn’t even have claws.”

 

* * *

 

 

Gina ought to teach Amy a thing or two about staring at people covertly. “What up, nerd?” She asked cheerfully, not lifting her eyes from the page.

 

Amy started, no doubt embarrassed about being caught in her admiration. “You’re better at numbers than I thought you’d be,” she muttered.

 

Gina shrugged. “Ain’t no thang,” she said, pausing in her scribbling to briefly prod Amy in the arm with her quill. “And not a word of this to the outside world. I don’t go to all the trouble of forging my report cards so you can go blabbing ‘bout my secret genius and ruining my reputation. These people respect me ‘cause as far as they’re concerned I’m smart enough to be formidable, but dumb enough to still be cool.”

 

“Smart is cool, too,” Teddy chimed in from the side, beaming soppily at Amy. “Ames can recite the alphabet backwards. In English _and_ Spanish!”

 

Gina rolled her eyes. “Check it out, Rosa. Didn’t know it was nerd mating season,” she muttered.

 

“Uh-huh,” Rosa grunted.

 

Well, that wasn’t as mean _or_ funny as Gina had expected. “‘Sup, Boo?” She asked, in a sugar-sweet voice she just _knew_ would tick Rosa off.

 

As expected, Rosa glared. “Nothing.”

 

Ooooh, defensive. “How’s Marcus?”

 

She fell silent. Gina snorted. “Wow, that good, huh?”

 

Rosa blushed and turned her face back down to her work. “He’s fine.”

 

“Just ‘fine’? Come on, Diaz, I want the deets!” She didn’t. Not even slightly. But clearly she was just a masochist.

 

Rosa chewed her lip. “He’s… sweet.”

 

Gina _and_ Amy’s jaws dropped to the floor. _“Sweet?!”_ They squeaked in unison.

 

After a moment of stunned silence Gina regained her composure enough to swat Amy away and continue her line of enquiry. “Wow, Rosa, didn’t know that’s the sort of thing you looked for in a guy. Thought for sure you’d pick your mate with some kind of death match deal.”

 

Rosa shrugged. “He can fly. And he can take at least three bludgers before falling off his broom.”

 

“Dreamboat,” Gina muttered, scratching her cheek. “So, things are going pretty well with you guys, huh?”

 

“Why are you suddenly so interested?” Rosa snapped, glowering from beneath her lashes. That look made Gina’s knees weak- and probably not in the way Rosa was hoping.

 

“Just curious, sugarpie,” Gina shrugged, scribbling in her next calculation with a little more force than necessary. “All that crap with Jake over summer- nice to see _someone’s_ getting some action.”

 

Rosa nodded. “I heard. That sucks,” she nodded towards Amy. “I’m not the only one, though.”

 

Amy and Teddy were sitting _a lot_ closer than they had been before. Gina sighed. “Damn,” she huffed, watching as Amy prodded her oversized glasses back into place through a fit of laughter at something Teddyboy said. “I am losing my touch.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Soooo… Marcus, huh?” Amy nudged.

 

“We will work in silence,” Rosa said flatly, squinting at the sheet full of squiggly symbols. Ancient runes were a bitch.

 

“Ooo-kay,” Amy said, shuffling about in her seat awkwardly.

 

The prickly silence lasted two minutes before Rosa heaved a weary sigh. Amy had a way of making _silences_ feel like an exam. “You may speak,” she said. “But I do not have to respond.”

 

So maybe Amy’s relieved smile made it slightly worth it.

 

What? She wasn’t made of stone. Happy friends were a good thing, right?

 

“I’m happy for you,” Amy said brightly, returning to her translation with renewed energy. “He seems nice. I mean I’ll be honest, I never really pictured you with someone like that, but it’s nice, y’know? Like, you balance each other out- not that you need balancing out! I mean, you’re fine- better than fine, you’re great! But y’know, new perspectives and stuff? I’ll stop talking about it now. Real shame about Peralta, huh? I didn’t even know he liked anyone… _like that._ ”

 

“Yeah. Sucks,” Rosa cut in, before Amy could go on a ramble about _Peralta_ of all people. Rosa knew a crush when she saw one, and she had had enough of the damn romantic drama today. “Gina’s got it covered.”

 

Amy’s face soured. “Yeah, Gina…”

 

She fell silent. Rosa didn’t argue. She just wanted to do her work, translate these damn runes, and get out for quidditch practice.

 

“...What?” She snapped, glaring at her work. God, when did she become so attached to these people she actually _wanted_ to hear their problems? She was so whipped.

 

Amy jumped. “Nothing!”

 

Rosa glared.

 

Amy sighed. “Is Gina ever… mean to you?”

 

“Gina’s mean to everyone- what’s your point?”

 

Amy picked at the corner of her parchment. “I don’t know, sometimes I feel like she gives me a hard time. I mean, harder than you guys. I can’t remember a time she wasn’t picking on me, y’know?”

 

Rosa stared at her a moment. She was a smart kid, maybe more socially aware than she’d given her credit for. Rosa had picked up on that, too. Not that she’d given it much thought. But thinking about it now, the answer seemed obvious. “She doesn’t get you,” she said simply.

 

Amy furrowed her brow. “What’s there to get?”

 

“You’re smart,” Rosa explained. “Gina’s smart, too, she just uses it differently. She works so hard on her own image, she doesn’t get why you don’t.”

 

“What makes you think I don’t?”

 

Rosa looked at her enormous glasses pointedly.

 

“Hey, I happen to _like_ these glasses!” Amy huffed. “I think they make me look smart.”

 

“They do,” Rosa said. “You’re smart like Gina. She just doesn’t like to show it. Thinks people will think less of her. Think she’s a-”

 

“Nerd…” Amy sighed, sagging a little. “Like me.”

 

Rosa fidgeted. This was all getting a little touchy-feely for her. But she’d just made Amy sadder. She kind of had to try and do the _opposite,_ right? “Yeah, like you. That’s not bad, though.”

 

Amy looked surprised. “It’s not?”

 

Rosa shrugged. She was definitely out of her depth with this whole comfort thing. “Lots of people are nerds,” she glanced at Amy, and decided that she wouldn’t squeal. “I almost was. Hat wanted to put me in Ravenclaw.”

 

“Seriously?” Amy squeaked, looking like her world had been knocked off its axis.

 

“I fought him on it,” Rosa said. “I was stubborn about it, too. In the end he decided Gryffindor was probably the right choice.”

 

“Why’d you fight it?” Amy asked, bewildered.

 

Rosa cringed. “Guess me and Gina have something in common.”

 

Amy sighed. “Neither of you wanna be nerds.”

 

“It’s not who we are,” Rosa shrugged. “It’s who you are though. And that’s fine. You make the nerd thing work for you.”

 

Amy smiled at her. She smiled back, just briefly. They both turned back to their work. Rosa scratched a few more notes before she spoke again. “There is one way you can get Gina off your back.”

 

Amy cocked her head. Rosa smirked.

  
“Show her who’s the alpha bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! ^^
> 
> Tune in next time for the long-awaited Amy v. Gina confrontation (and all the awesome bro times that may follow once these two nerds air out their differences), probably a lot more Amy POV and a LOT more pining. (might have to add the dreaded slow-burn tag to this mofo...) Feedback as always is much, much appreciated! 
> 
> Until next time! X


	9. Fear and Loathing in Las Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooo this update has taken *Gina at a funeral voice* for-EH-vooooooreeeeee. But my reasons for this are threefold: firstly, it was a difficult chapter to write, lots of delving into characters and whatnot. Secondly, I'm actually moving in two days sooooo lots of packing to be done for that. And thirdly... just plain ol' writer's block. But I hope that doesn't show too much!
> 
> So this chapter is kinda heavy in parts, and kind of funny in others because guess what? IT'S BOGGART TIME. Yeppers. And I would like to thank the writers of B99 for doing an episode all about fear and FINALLY giving me an idea what Gina's boggart could be 'cause I was stumped.
> 
> Enjoy!

**October**

 

“Attention, students.”

 

“Ooh!” Jake whisper-shouted, patting Rosa’s arm excitedly. “Our lord and master speaks!”

 

Rosa rolled her eyes. Holt continued his announcement unaffected.

 

“A boggart has been found in the castle,” he said. “Residing in the muggle studies department, in a ‘vending machine’. While we will soon be ousting this creature from the castle, it seems too good a learning opportunity to waste. This year, every Defence Against the Dark Arts class will have a chance to practice boggart counter-curses with the creature. The schedule will be posted at a later date. That is all.”

 

“What’s a boggart?” Jake asked, grinning in a way that suggested a bad pun was forthcoming. “Is its first name Humphrey?” Rosa groaned internally.

 

He probably would have started making finger-guns at her, if a paper airplane hadn’t smacked him in the head at that moment. “Ah- my lucky face!” he squawked.

 

“It’s literally paper, dude,” Rosa said, picking up the plane and unfolding it. She chuckled at the note written inside.

 

“What’s it say?” Jake demanded, trying to read it over her shoulder.

 

“‘A boggart’s a creature, Jake. It takes on the form of a person’s worst fear. I could feel you making that clueless face from across the room. Signed, Amy.’” Rosa read.

 

“OoooooOOOOOOOhhhh,” Jake said, realisation dawning. And then, because the dude had no chill (and terrible handwriting) he stood up on the bench to bellow across the room. “THANKS, AMES!”

 

“You’re welcome!” came an answering call from the Slytherin table.

 

“You guys are dorks,” Rosa said, shaking her head as Jake sat back down.

 

“Seconded!” came another voice, this time from the vicinity of the Ravenclaw table.

 

“No one asked you, Gina!” Jake shouted back.

 

“I think it’s _adorable,”_ said a familiar voice from Hufflepuff.

 

“Sit down, Charles.”

 

“They both have points,” Rosa said, raising her eyebrow. “You guys are kinda married.”

 

“What?” Jake said, scrunching his nose. “That’s dumb, she’s like my sister!”

 

“...That’s what Luke said about Leia.”

 

Jake turned like lightning to face the Hufflepuff table. “Hey, Luke didn’t know! _No one knew!_ ”

 

“Stay out of it, Charles,” Rosa advised, yanking Jake back around by his robe. “Sit down and eat.”

 

Jake picked up his fork huffily, glowering at his plate. “I hate you all.”

 

“You’re being real sensitive about this, man,” Rosa frowned.

 

“Not like it matters,” Jake said gloomily. “Even if I did like Amy, she’s got Teddy now.”

 

“Do you like her?”

 

“NO!”

 

“Jeez, alright, calm down,” Rosa said. “Besides, I don’t think Teddy’s even asked her out yet.”

 

Jake lay his face on the table, gazing forlornly at the remains of his breakfast. “He’s gonna.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Gina.”

 

“Principle Holt,” Gina said brightly, smiling up at the imposing man. “Super cool speech today, Cap. That was, like, five whole sentences? Might wanna slow down there, that’s an awful lot of information to take in at once.”

 

“Noted,” Holt said, tone just as neutral as ever. “I have a job for you after classes today, Linetti- please report to my office at the usual time and I’ll run you through it. A great deal of paperwork has come up regarding the Womping Willow’s latest… tantrum. I would greatly appreciate your assistance in getting through it.”

 

“Ab-so-lutely, boss,” Gina said, mock-saluting (after checking that no one was around to observe, of course. She had a rep to maintain). “I’ll leave Babylon in Diaz’s capable hands for the night.”

 

Holt cocked his head. “Indeed. How is your little ‘business’ coping, Gina?”

 

“Bitchin’,” she said modestly, shrugging. “Guess I’m just a natural entrepreneur.”

 

“You are a person of many hidden talents, as I long suspected,” Holt said with a curt nod. “Just see to it that you keep the peace and I don’t imagine we’ll have a problem.”

 

Gina returned the nod with a conspiratorial wink. “Aye, aye, captain.”

 

She departed with purpose, head held high. All told, it was a pretty sweet deal. She helped out with Holt’s workload, and in return he let her maintain and manage her little internet den with no interference. She also managed to convince him to keep his silence on the arrangement. Basically, she just ruled at negotiation.

 

She went to double Potions with a spring in her step, safe in the knowledge that her business and reputation were safely intact.

 

* * *

 

 

From around a corner, Amy watched Gina go with interest, and a knowing smirk.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m telling you, Jake, I’ve got her right where I want her!” Amy babbled excitedly, repeatedly nudging her friend with her shoulder. “The second I tell her I know about her little deal with Holt she’ll have to back off, she’d never let the whole school know that she’s secretly the headmaster’s favourite!”

 

“I don’t know, Amy,” Jake frowned. “Not that I don’t admire this new evil genius side of you, but blackmail seems a little out of your comfort zone.”

 

“Hey, I could _totally_ blackmail someone,” she protested, glowering. “Especially if that someone’s Gina. No offense, I mean, I know you guys are bestest friends forever or whatever but… I think at this point the only way I’m gonna get Gina off my back is to sink to her level.”

 

“You have a point,” Jake said with a nod. He still remained unconvinced. “But the sinking’s not the problem. If you really want to get her off your back, you need to get her respect.”

 

“Oh, I’ll get her respect,” Amy said ominously. “I’ll get her respect, alright.”

 

“.....Ooooooo-kay,” Jake said, taking just a step away from her. Totally not out of fear or anything. “Oh, would you look at that, it’s our classroom! Let’s go in there, right now, where everyone else is!” he took off at a brisk pace and threw himself through the door.

 

They were cutting it close. Not moments after he and Amy had settled into their seats, Holt appeared and made a beeline for the large locked crate at the front of the classroom.

 

“Students,” he said, pulling a large iron key from his pocket. “As you know, your current topic of study in this class is temporarily postponed while we make the most of this educational opportunity. In this crate is the vending machine from the muggle studies department, and inside that is one of the most horrifying creatures you may ever witness.”

 

“Sweet,” Jake and Gina whispered in unison. Rosa cracked her knuckles.

 

“The boggart is a creature of considerable telepathic power,” Holt continued, sliding the old key into the padlock. “It has the power to identify a person’s most primal fear, and take its form. For this reason, they are among the most feared creatures in the magical world. There is, however, a very simple counter curse to repel a boggart, which I will be teaching you today. Everyone stand up and come to the front, please.”

 

What followed was a confusing hubbub of swishing robes and jabbing elbows as Jake and a few other eager classmates launched themselves towards the front. Despite their best efforts, Rosa and Jake wound up a little further back in the queue than they would have liked. They did better than Amy and Gina, but still. He could feel Rosa practically vibrating with the repressed need to fight something.

 

“Now, without wands, repeat after me,” Holt said, enunciating clearly. _“Riddikulus.”_

 

_“Riddikulus!”_

 

“Good, but please make sure you speak clearly. Again; _riddikulus.”_

 

_“Riddikulus!”_

 

“Much better,” he said with a nod of approval. “Now, when this boggart sees you it will immediately take on the form of what it perceives to be your worst fear. When that happens, with a fluid motion of your wand, you will chant the counter curse as I have just taught you, and visualise something you find amusing in its place. Understood?”

 

“Yes!” the class chanted.

 

“Are you certain?”

 

“Open the damn box, already!”

 

“Manners, Linetti,” Holt said, turning the key.

 

The chains fell away, the crate’s plywood walls collapsed outwards, and the boggart’s den was revealed.

 

“Ooh, look, Cheetos,” Jake grinned, peering through the vending machine glass.

 

Holt gave the first student in line a nod, ushering her forward. The girl- Jake recognised her as one of Amy’s fellow Slytherin’s, a girl called Kylie- raised her wand hesitantly.

 

That was when the enormous black snake slithered free from the machine’s flap.

 

“Wow,” he heard Gina mutter, glancing between the snake and the terrified Slytherin. “Ironic.”

 

“In your own time,” Holt told Kylie calmly, eyeing the snake. “...But quite quickly.”

 

With a tremor in her voice, Kylie uttered the counter curse and flicked her wand.

 

Jake watched with a delight as the monstrous serpent underwent its peculiar transformation. First it seemed to puff outwards, its skin stretching taut and taking on a slippery plastic sheen. As it inflated and elongated, it then proceeded to tie itself in elaborate knots. Soon enough the creature was gone altogether, and in its place stood…

 

“That a dog or a giraffe?” Jake asked, frowning at the large balloon sculpture.

 

Gina shrugged. “Guess it depends on your point of view.”

 

“Excellent, Kylie,” Holt praised. There might have been a touch of approval somewhere in the monotone. “Who’s next?”

 

Kylie hopped to the back of the room gratefully as another Slytherin took her place. And just like that, the line was moving. It was slow going, and Jake bounced impatiently on his feet as he watched the parade of horrors and humours in front of the vending machine. Some fears were more memorable than others- like the angry blue jays, the wobbly pink octopus and Jabba the Hutt, to name but a few.

 

Finally they were up, and it was Rosa’s turn. She stepped forward, drawing her wand with a flourish and planting her feet as the boggart (currently a whoopee cushion) delved into her mind and began to shift according to whatever it saw. Jake found himself holding his breath- what did _Rosa Diaz_ fear? His mind immediately scrambled to conjure up the biggest, scariest things he could imagine. Mostly this involved taking increasingly bigger, scarier animals and adding extra guns and lasers. He was about settled on a radioactive grizzly bear when the boggart finally settled, planted firmly before Rosa on two elegantly poised feet.

 

“Again, Diaz,” the boggart snapped, voice like a drill sergeant. An elegant, well-spoken, lady-like drill sergeant. Jake blinked. Of all the fears he imagined Diaz having, a fancy old lady wasn’t high on the list.

 

Rosa, however, had gone tense from head to toe.

 

“Again, I said!” The boggart lady said, the words like the crack of a whip. “Get those lazy bones moving right this second. We can’t have you finishing the year the way you are- parents don’t come to their daughter’s recital to witness stampeding oxen. _Light_ on your feet this time- I could hear your morning practice across the state line.”

 

Jake stared at her, gobsmacked. None of the boggarts had looked like this so far. Most of them had been monsters or gross things or the stuff of saturday morning horror cartoons. This… this was an _attack._ And a very personal one at that. Suddenly Jake wasn’t quite so keen to get to his turn.

 

Rosa set her jaw. Her knuckles went white on her wand as she raised it. “ _Riddikulus!”_ she said through gritted teeth.

 

And just like that, the old lady was gone. Well, in a way she was gone. Technically she was still standing there, now looking a lot more plastic and… wobbly.

 

“A bobblehead, Rosa?” Gina said from behind him, much closer than expected.

 

Rosa shrugged. “Bobbleheads are funny.”

 

“Where did you guys come from?” Jake demanded, glancing between Gina and Amy. They’d been further back in the line before, right?

 

“I can be very persuasive,” Gina said with her classic mystique. “And this lil’ pup clung to my coattails.”

 

“Did not!” Amy huffed, face going beet red.

 

“Who’s next?” Holt cut in, motioning for Rosa to re-join the class.

 

Jake took a hasty step back, shoving Amy’s shoulder. “Santiago!”

 

“What?” Amy squeaked, glasses wobbling on her nose.

 

Jake shrugged, ducking behind Gina as subtly as he could manage. He wasn’t stalling. He was just… gathering himself. No big.

 

Fortunately, Amy didn’t make a big thing about it. After an annoyed huff and a quick brush down of her robes, she went to take her place in front of the vending machine.

 

Her face turned even redder as the boggart took a new shape.

 

“Santiago, you’re scared of _closets?_ ” Jake squawked, eyeing the nondescript wooden box.

 

“Oh, damn…” Gina hissed, thumping the side of her head in frustration. “There’s a lesbian joke in here somewhere…”

 

“It’s a pretty easy set-up, dude,” Rosa said flatly.

 

“Argh, I know,” Gina glared at her friend- who appeared to be all better after her traumatising experience. “I’m still preoccupied with that ballerina-bobblehead combo. You’re throwing me off my game, Diaz.”

 

“But seriously, Amy, _closets_?” Jake spoke over his bickering gal pals, partly out of amusement, partly out of concern for how quiet Santiago had gone since she’d stepped up.

 

The Slytherin took a deep, slightly shaky breath and raised her wand. “R- _Riddikulus!”_

 

A low hissing filled the room, and the closet began to puff out like a balloon. Everyone stepped back as it expanded, enveloping more and more floor space. The dark oak turned to fluorescent rubber, squeaking as it stretched, and the corners popped open and expanded into twisting turrets.

 

Jake gasped. _“Oh-Em-Gee, BOUNCY HOUSE!”_

 

It was only Rosa’s iron grip on his shoulder that stopped him throwing himself into it.

 

“Excellent work, Santiago,” Holt said approvingly. Amy blushed even more fiercely.

 

“Me next!” Gina crowed, shoving Amy aside unceremoniously.

 

Amy didn’t even have a chance to complain before the boggart was shifting for its new target. What she saw rendered her temporarily speechless.

 

Jake blinked. “Ew. Gina, gross, why the monkey suit?”

 

The other Jake- boggart Jake- smiled a phony smile. It was unmistakably Jake, but it was still hard to believe. He was older, for one. And his hair was… well, it was _neat._ He wore a dull brown suit, shirt buttoned all the way up and sleeves rolled down. He held out a hand- a neatly manicured hand with absolutely no quill scribbles on the knuckles- and offered Gina a card. “Regina,” he said pleasantly, phony grin still in place. “Glad I caught you- it’s Debra’s birthday on Friday! Don’t leave without signing her card. I’ve talked to the party planning committee, and it’s a yes on the hummus!”

 

Gina had gone pale as a sheet. “Oh God,” she whispered. “They got their claws into you.”

 

“It’s not real Gina!” The real Jake shouted. “Fight the power!”

 

Gina scowled, raising her wand. “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE, CUBICLE VULTURES! _RIDDIKULUS!”_

 

Boggart Jake was temporarily enveloped in a cloud of pink fog. Gradually it disappeared, and Gina heaved a sigh of relief as Boggart Jake looked down in confusion at his new look. Real Jake looked away almost immediately, consumed by second hand embarrassment at the sheer volume of fake tan.

 

“Good, Gina,” Holt said, nodding and looking at Boggart Jake with… was that actual amusement on his face? Nah.

 

Gina twirled her wand showily, grinning. “Ain't no thang, gurl.”

 

“Back of the line.”

 

“A’ight, gurl.”

 

“Peralta, you’re next.”

 

Jake gulped, stepping forward on trembling legs. He stared himself in his orange face and set his jaw. “Do your worst,” he said confidently, wincing as his voice cracked on the last word.

 

Boggart Jake surveyed him a moment, before a sinister smile broke across his face. He began to shift, but not dramatically like, say, the change from closet to bouncy house. He stayed distinctly humanoid, his features shifting into a slightly different configuration, hair rapidly growing out to cascade around his shoulders. He grew several inches taller, his embarrassing outfit morphing into something far more respectable- and distinctly more feminine. In fact, he had very much ceased to be a ‘he’.

 

“Mom?” Jake squeaked, confused. He wasn’t scared of his _mom,_ for crying out loud! His mom was amazing!

 

Karen Peralta narrowed her eyes, looming over him in a very un-Karen-ish way. “Don’t you ‘Mom’ me, Jacob Peralta!” she snapped, her voice raised louder than he’d ever heard it. “You’ve got some nerve, talking to me like that after you made Roger leave!”

 

Jake froze, feeling like he’d had ice water dumped on him. “What?”

 

“You heard me,” she continued ruthlessly. “He never would have left if you hadn’t driven him away. He always did say having kids would ruin what we had. I should have listened when I had the chance.”

 

Jake blinked back tears. _It’s a boggart,_ he told himself sharply, raising his wand in his shaking hand. _It’s just some stupid fear demon making crap up like a green, scaly Donald Trump. It doesn’t know your mom. You know she’d never talk to you like this._

 

But a thirteen year-old, when faced with a very realistic projection of their mother listing their shortcomings, can be hard-pressed to listen to reason. Tears were springing to his eyes of their own accord. He reached up and furiously wiped them away with his robe.

 

Boggart Karen was still talking, and though Jake had tuned the words out some time ago the tone was unchanged. He found himself unconsciously cowering away from her anger even as the falsities rang in his ears.

 

“Jacob.”

 

A different voice, deeper, calmer. Jake tore his eyes away from his mother’s imposter.

 

Holt met his gaze steadily, nodding in affirmation. “You’ve got this.”

 

And somehow, that simple statement made Jake believe it.

 

He took a deep breath and returned the nod, turning back to the boggart with determination and raising his wand in a much steadier hand. “ _Riddikulus!”_

 

He was treated to the sight of the Fake Karen’s startled expression seconds before she popped out of existence, to be replaced by…

 

Amy frowned. “What is that horse doing?”

 

“Getting owned,” Gina said flatly, smirking. “By a fork.”

 

Amy turned to Jake incredulously. “Your funny thing is a horse trying to eat with a fork?”

 

“And failing.”

 

“Yes, Rosa, and failing.”

 

“It’s majestic and hilarious!” Jake defended, grinning at his creation.

 

“Well done Peralta,” Holt said, with something approaching warmth. “Now, back of the line. Who’s up next?”

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey.”

 

Amy jumped at Rosa’s voice, tearing her eyes away from the DADA room door that Jake, Holt and Gina were still behind. The headmaster had asked Jake to stay behind a moment after class, and Gina being Gina had refused to be left out of the loop. “What?”

 

“You wanna wait for them?” Rosa offered, jerking her thumb at the door.

 

“Yeah, I think so.”

 

Rosa nodded in understanding. “You gonna talk to Gina?”

 

Amy was bewildered for a second before the events of the last few days came back to her- her talk with Rosa about gaining Gina’s respect, her blackmail plans. Frankly, after the emotional wringer they’d all been through this afternoon, the idea seemed a lot less appealing. “No, not right now,” she said, shrugging. “It’s been a rough day.”

 

Rosa nodded again, face unchanged. “Good call.”

 

They waited in silence for about ten seconds. Then Rosa spoke up. “Hey, Santiago.”

 

Amy looked at her expectantly. Rosa raised her eyebrow. “Closets?”

 

Amy blushed. “Not _all_ closets!” Amy huffed, crossing her arms. “It’s just…”

 

She looked up at Rosa. The girl had the sort of expression that suggested she wouldn’t care if Amy didn’t say another word. Somehow that was reassuring, not feeling under pressure. She also knew, despite her seemingly cutthroat exterior, Rosa wouldn’t go blabbing to anyone about this. Amy sighed. “My older brothers used to play a lot of pranks on me. And one of their favourites was locking me in that closet. One time they forgot I was in there and I was stuck for six hours. I’ve kind of hated small spaces ever since.”

 

Rosa’s brow furrowed. “Not cool.”

 

“ _So_ not cool,” Amy said, smiling slightly. There was something quite comforting about Rosa’s no-nonsense attitude. A lot of other people probably would have said ‘boys will be boys’ and made her feel stupid for caring so much. But that was the nice thing about Rosa. She had a zero-tolerance policy for B.S.

 

“Thanks,” Amy said quietly.

 

Rosa shrugged. “Don’t mention it,” she turned on her glare. “Seriously. Don’t mention it.”

 

Amy rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I got it. Can’t have anyone thinking you actually care about people.”

 

“Damn right,” Rosa said, a slight smirk tugging at her lips. “But so long as it’s off the record; I’ve always got your back.”

 

Amy grinned. “You have my back?”

 

“S’what I said.”

 

Amy bounced on the balls of her feet. “Are we having a moment?” she whispered reverently, eyes wide.

 

Rosa looked at her, unamused. “We were. It’s over.”

 

“Oh. Okay.”

 

They fell back into silence. It was probably the least uncomfortable silence they’d ever shared.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’ll expect your scrolls on the dwelling habits of the Boggart this time next week,” Holt said, flicking his wand. The crate’s sides snapped back into place, chains rattling as they once more encircled it. “Class dismissed.”

 

The throng of students that made their way back to the classroom doors had unconsciously split into three distinct factions by now- the ones with the fears like spiders, snakes and other creepy yet commonplace things, loudly joking with each other and talking smack about the ones with the irrational fears- like mothballs or refrigerators. And set somewhat apart from those were the ones whose boggarts had hit a little too close to home- the ones who weren’t comfortable laughing about it, and simultaneously too tragic to be picked on. Jake found himself a proud member of the latter group, gathering his things and following the crowd of departing students with approximately ten percent of his typical effervescence. He’d had the wind too thoroughly knocked out of his sails to even consider being loud.

 

“Peralta,” Holt said, quietly but firmly. “Stay behind a moment.”

 

Jake groaned, grinding to halt. Gina stopped right next to him and made no further move to exit. He’d never say it to her face, but he was grateful for the show of solidarity.

 

Holt took a step closer as the door closed behind Amy’s worried face, shutting them off from the rest of the class. Jake sighed and turned to face the headmaster, ready to deflect whatever school counsellor key phrases he was ready to throw out about ‘problems at home’ or whatever the hell he’d deduced from Jake’s boggart. But instead the headmaster just nodded and said: “You did good work today.”

 

Jake relaxed his shoulders, nodding in return. “Thanks, sir.”

 

Holt gave him the barest ghost of a smile before turning his attention to Gina. “You too, Linetti. That transformation was amazingly funny.”

 

Jake glared at her. She grinned, unaffected. “I try.”

 

“Still, boggarts are a difficult subject,” Holt said. “Widely regarded as one of the most terrifying magical species, despite being mostly harmless. But what they lack in physical strength they more than make up for in their propensity for psychological warfare,” he looked between Jake and Gina. “And so I am compelled to ask, are you both… satisfied, with the outcome of today’s exercise?”

 

Jake chose to translate that as robot-speak for _‘I hope you haven’t been traumatised.’_

 

“Very, sir,” he said brightly, tugging Gina’s sleeve. “Right, G?”

 

“Totes,” she said, her eyes already straying to the door. Clearly she was eager to get to Babylon before Charles started brewing something gross in the blender again.

 

Holt nodded, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Good. I trust you will come to me or another member of staff if you have any further grievances?”

 

“You bet, Cap,” Jake said, throwing in a salute for good measure. Gina mirrored him.

 

“Good,” Holt said, turning back to the teacher’s desk. “You are dismissed.”

 

“‘Kay, toodles!” Gina sang, all but bounding to the door. Jake rolled his eyes and followed in her footsteps.

 

“Peralta.”

 

Jake turned back one more time to find Holt looking at him, and honest to god smile on his face. “I’m very proud of your progress in this class. Keep up the good work.”

 

Jake couldn’t help grinning just a little. “Thank you, sir.”

 

* * *

 

 

She and Rosa had waited for their friends after class, as promised. Gina, as it turned out, was in too much of a hurry to get back to her pet project to stick around, which made Amy’s resolution to _not_ confront her today somewhat easier to stick to.

 

But, Gina being Gina, she wasn’t in the business of making Amy’s life easy.

 

Amy was sitting down at the Slytherin table, minding her own business and eating her chocolate pudding, when Gina flopped down on the bench next to her.

 

“I know something’s going on,” she said without preamble, picking up a nearby spoon and stealing a scoop of Amy’s pudding. “So you might as well spill.”

 

Amy’s mouth flopped like a fish for a few precious seconds before she gathered her wits. Unfortunately the damage was already done- no way Gina didn’t know she was hiding something after a reaction like that. For a moment Amy considered making something up to throw her off the scent, but rejected the idea- she was a terrible liar, and Gina knew it. She sighed, pushing her bowl away. She’d lost her appetite.

 

“I was gonna confront you.”

 

Gina raised her eyebrow. “‘Confront’ me?”

 

So much for the element of surprise. Amy nodded, shamefaced. “And I was gonna tell people. About the extra work you’re doing for Holt.”

 

Amy had thought that perfectly plucked eyebrow couldn’t go any higher. She had been mistaken. “Oh really?” Gina said, staring her down. “Spying and blackmail, Amy? I expected better of you.”

 

Amy could feel her face heating up. “Oh, so _I’m_ the morally bankrupt one? You posted extracts of my diary on all the common room walls!”

 

“That was before I found out I could get up on this high horse,” Gina smirked, unapologetic.

 

Amy huffed, crossing her arms tightly. “I don’t know why I bother.”

 

“Why do you?”

 

Amy blinked, unprepared for the direct question.

 

Gina rolled her eyes, prodding a finger under Amy’s chin to close her gaping mouth. “Seriously, though. Why you coming for me, kiddo?”

 

“Are you serious?” Amy boggled. “As if the diary thing wasn’t reason enough! You’re mean, you’re dismissive, and you never waste an opportunity to put me down in front of everyone we know. And frankly, I’m sick of you underestimating me,” she puffed out her chest, staring Gina down. “I could take you on. Easy. You think you’re so much better than everyone, but I’m a match for you any day.”

 

Gina regarded her coolly, leaning casually on the table. “Been practising that speech long?”

 

“That’s just the bare bones of it,” Amy said, pulling a neatly folded square of parchment from her sleeve and brandishing it in Gina’s face. “Trust me, there’s more where that came from.”

 

Gina snagged the parchment and unfolded it, casting her eyes briefly over the neatly scribed lines of text. “Okay, it’s a minus two-hundred points for writing down your hate. It’s nerdy, uncool, and leaves a highly inadvisable paper trail.”

 

Amy opened her mouth to complain. Gina held up her hand, non-verbally silencing her.

 

“However,” she conceded, flicking the parchment back at her. “This took some guts. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

 

She tapped her immaculate fingernails on the tabletop. “So here’s the deal, boo. You never, _ever_ make me read anything you’ve written again, and I’ll go easy on you.”

 

It was better than Amy could have hoped for, but she remained steadfast. She was not going to be silenced without a fight. “You’re never allowed to be mean to me again.”

 

“What?! I’m mean to _everyone!”_

 

“Take it or leave it.”

 

“Ugh, look, I’ll stop being mean to you when we’re alone, but I’ve got a rep to think about.”

 

Amy had to admit she had a point. If Gina was suddenly nice to her, it would look weird. People would probably think they were, like, an _item_ or something. She shuddered. Whichever poor sucker wound up dating Gina in the future, she wished them luck. “Okay, fine. But reign it in a bit. And I want a standing invite to all your sleepovers. And you have to actually _tell_ me when they’re happening.”

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Melissa,” Gina proclaimed, holding out her hand. “But it’s a deal.”

 

Amy frowned. “My name’s Amy.”

 

“Melissa suits you better,” Gina shrugged. “Deal?”

 

Amy rolled her eyes. It was a start. “Deal,” she agreed, taking Gina’s hand and shaking it.”

 

Gina snorted. “Lame handshake, hon. Feels like being caressed by a wet lettuce.”

 

Amy scowled. “I’m taking a seminar over the holidays.”

 

Gina hissed. “Honey, you are making it real hard not to pick on you right now.”

 

“S’not my job to make your life easy,” Amy smirked.

 

That actually made Gina grin. “Atta girl,” she stood up, stealing a muffin from an indignant Slytherin’s plate. “That’s the kinda spunk I wanna see. Alls you gots to do to get my respect is earn it kiddo,” she took a self-satisfied bite of the muffin.

 

“Noted,” Amy said, smiling to herself. Rosa really did have Gina all figured out.

 

“Oh,” Gina added, turning back mid stride. “And if you want a confrontation, you got it. But I prefer the term ‘showdown’.”

 

Amy’s brow furrowed. “Really? When?”

 

“Dunno yet,” Gina shrugged, turning away again and calling the rest over her shoulder. “Time and date T.B.C. But I can tell you right now it’ll be a challenge of my choice, so you better be ready for anything.”

 

“I was born ready!” Amy shouted after her. “I can take whatever you throw at me, Linetti!”

 

She caught a glimpse of Gina’s wolfish grin as she turned a corner out of the great hall.

 

Amy sat back, a slow smile spreading across her face. She picked up her spoon and took a triumphant bite of pudding, wondering what kind of a ‘showdown’ Gina could possibly come up with.

  
Challenge accepted, Linetti.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, hope you liked it! Please comment if you did, your comments are my lifeblood ^^
> 
> I hope you like my boggarts and counter-charms for the characters- I know there were probably several directions I could have taken them, I settled on what I did through sheer trial and error really. Jake's counter curse kinda just occurred to me when I remembered his little spat with Sophia in their first episode and I just thought it'd be funny to see him conjure a horse with a fork xD Also Amy's admitted to being claustrophobic so I did a bit of backstory to that, Gina has the businessmen thing, and though needles were an option for Rosa I thought the dance instructor was more interesting. Jake's boggart is defo the one that hurt most to write though. Obviously I don't think Karen Peralta would ever speak like that to her son, but Jake's a thirteen year-old child of divorce with serious self-esteem issues so he was projecting a bit.
> 
> I might find myself on another hiatus for a bit what with moving and everything, but I hope not to keep you waiting too long!
> 
> Until next time! X


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